Dealing with Loss

So, I know it's common for pregnancies to end... The doctor told me one in five known pregnancies end in miscarriage. Unknown ones could be as high as one in two.

As big a fan as I am of information, often finding significant comfort in it, sometimes I just need more.

I've spent the last few days away because I have been going through a miscarriage. I'm sure others out there have been through the same...

Luckily, family had flown in right before it happened so there was a strong urge to stay strong. Plus, going out with them really helped to keep my mind off things. That's the best thing I've found so far- staying busy. That, and reminding myself that after years of infertility, this is still a step in the right direction. My husband and I will be trying again soon.

What about you? Have you ever experienced this? What helps? How did you handle it?​

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Moms Expertise
    10/18/13
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      10/18/13
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      10/18/13
      Sorry to hear you had to go through the same. Everyone has to deal in their own way I think. I am seeing it because myself and two other women in my neighborhood all lost ours the same day. Strange coincidence, but at least we all know what the other is going through. (hug)
      2
        10/18/13
        Amanda Hurley
        I am so sorry for your loss. (Hugs). I don't know what to say.
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          8Theresa Gould
          So sorry to hear of your loss. Hugs.

          I've had six losses most at the 10-14 week, one earlier and one at 18 weeks. My response varied, with the 18 week loss being the worst, I still cannot look at photos of Matthew because I fear I'll just start crying. I did find keeping busy helped. Allowing yourself to grieve is key. Grief can come in waves, which can be unexpected if you are unfamiliar with grief. Rest, sleep as you feel the need. Tiredness is not only from losing the baby but also from the grief. Grieving is tiring work.

          Feel free to PM (private message) me any time.
          3
          10/19/13
          I can feel what you mean about the grief coming in waves. I can't even imagine going through it at 18 weeks and I'm so sorry you had to do that. I'm definitely trying to stay busy, reading a lot to keep my mind off things. The support here has been great and done wonders. I thought at first it would be hard trying to be on this site after the loss, but I find that it helps and it gives me hope. You're all so wonderful.
          1
          10/22/13
          8Theresa Gould
          Glad you are finding support amidst your grief. I think that's important too. Not to feel so alone while you are going through it.
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            10/18/13
            Oh Cassaundra.. here I was commenting about things today and didn't know. I am so so sorry for your loss. I don't have much or any advice.. besides it's not you at all.. it's just something that seems like it happens. I will be praying for you so much.. to find strength, peace and comfort.. it's going to happen for you someday.. sooner than you probably think. I pray you don't give up hope.. but also find grace in all this. I am ALWAYS here for you if you need anything.. xxo
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            10/19/13
            Thank you, Meg. I agree with you, it's going to happen in its own time. I have a mug that I bought with my Fertilitea (what I used to conceive) that says "Whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the Universe is unfolding as it should." -- Max Ehrmann. I find comfort in that, and I do believe it. Thanks for your support.
            2
              10/19/13
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              10/19/13
              Thanks, Stephanie. It's nice to have others who understand what I'm going through. This community has been amazing in so many ways. ((Hugs))
              4
                03/05/14
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                Amanda Hurley
                My adopted mom had 7 miscarriages before she gave up trying to conceive. She said the same thing about the universe being unfair. There are so many good women who would make great moms, but may never have kids of their own, and then there are women who just want kids so they can abuse the system and stay home. My mom said this is why she chose to adopt. I am so sorry for your loss, and I will pray for you.
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                10/20/13
                I'll adopt if it comes down to it, but I still have plenty of faith to keep trying right now. I can't imagine having seven... It is sad, I just hope it all works out for the best.
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                10/20/13
                Ouch, Lisa. I'm so sorry... That sounds extemely tough. I wish you the best of luck in conceiving again soon. I hope the Universe brings some peace of mind your way.
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                About Cassaundra Owens
                Birth: February 13
                On Moms.com since: Oct 11, 2013
                I'm a little strange, pretty green, and learning to live life as a wife, future mother, and entrepreneur. Right now, my husband and I are trying for our first after 3.5 years of infertility and 2 losses. Viva la adventure! Join me too at MortalMommy.com!