I don't expect my husband and I to evenly care for our son. Especially while he is an infant and toddler I know I will be doing more of the child care. And my husband does a lot with our son and for me. He picks up our sone from day care and has about 2 hours before I get home.
That being said, my husband was on a business trip Sunday through Wednesday. He had drinks with a friend planned for last night . He sent me an email at work yesterday telling me it was unfair of him to go out and he rescheduled so that he would be home. But I still took care of our son from the time I got home until he went to bed. When I brought this up top my husband his response was that he had speny 5 hours with our son that day and needed to relax. At which point I lost it and brought up the 72 or more hours I had with out a chance to relax.
Why is it that when I spent hours on end with my son, there isnt a thought that I need some down time to relax. But he has a couple of hours on his own and he needs a break. It just made me so angry last night.
It totally naturally for mostly the men, just falls into the laps of women by default.. It
s in our genes and theirs.. we carried them and are MOTHERS and I think that the man just by nature feels he can step away and back in as and when he wants to, but we have to ask??..
I think it's great that you ask him up front and speak your mind.. They just don't get it.. They think just being home is enough... so, my only advice is to ask beforehand.. or during.. of course he's tired, you both are but you still have to rally for the baby...
Hang in there.. I know that you will find a good balance...