I need so much help with my 14yr old son

parenting a rebellious teenage boy that has ADHD and Conduct Disorder and bi-polar isn't easy OR fun. He is in so much trouble with the law. I don't want him to get sent away, but he is doing it to himself by his actions. I have no control of him and I go to bed scared at night, having to lock my door to go to sleep. I just want to re-gain control of him. He's locked in this "I don't care" attitude about *everything*.

    Comment deleted
    Yes ma'am I did that 3 years ago when he threatened to stab his teacher. He is completely refusing to take any medication now. I called the child psych ward yesterday to see if he meets the admittance criteria. The nurses exact response was "we do not admit kids because they are unruly, we aren't babysitters, we take them when they are an imminent danger to themselves or others. Has he threatened you in the last 24hrs?" And I am a very honest person so my answer was no, and she told me to contact his psych doctor. I did that but it takes forever for her to get back to me. I also contacted the therapist that sees him at school once a week and left her a message. I spoke with the school nurse and told her what I'm dealing with here.
    My youngest is afraid of my oldest because he has seen him lash out at me. My oldest has an assault causing injury charge pending (he hit me) and he has two counts of criminal mischief pending for punching holes in his walls and kicking his door off its hinges. I just filed a theft charge against him three days ago because he stole my $66 cash that I had sealed in an envelope hidden in my room (it was my tithe for Sunday morning), and he has court tomorrow morning for a curfew violation.
    He has been on probation since the middle of December 2013, and he has a 'tracker' in place which is a man that works under the P.O. and has set a curfew for my son, and he has to call in every night and let him know that he's home. When he isn't here by curfew, or doesn't come home from school (happens a lot) I notify the tracker.
    They are going to check into community service, and possibly put an ankle monitor on him. I'm not sure if those things will do any good at this point. But the level of disrespect I deal with on a day to day basis is sick, I just want my good son back.
    About Sarah Parker
    Born: Waukegan, Illinois
    Current: Vinton, Iowa
    Birth: July 18
    On Moms.com since: Jan 29, 2014
    I am a single mom of two boys, they are 14 and almost 4. Their dads are no where around. It makes me feel strong knowing I am doing this on my own but at the same time I am sad for my sons because they don't have a dad.
    All Recent Sarah's Posts