Type of Mama..
So I know that Mamas come in all shapes and sorts.. even when it comes to disciplining.. I recently had that lunch with my two girlfriends and it was so interesting to see the difference in how they each parented or disciplined their kiddos when acting up or behaving a bit badly...
Let's set the scene...
Out to lunch, busy cafe, smushed table.. semi chaos.. one Mom's little one starts screaming, screaminggggggggg... and all she really does is go.. "Oh no no.. we don't do that here.. " but nothing really was corrected. The other Mom later.. dealt with a toddler who kept poking their finger in my food (haha) and she grabbed her hand hard.. repeatedly tried to make her apologize to me.. and when she wouldn't.. threatened to take her to the restroom for a quick spank...
I am not saying either is best or either is bad.. I just enjoy taking in the differences of it all.. It also makes me think about how I will be as a Mama.. I would love to know.. if how you THOUGHT you would parent is different from how you REALLY parent?
The exception to this would be if the child did something that could potentially be VERY harmful to them, like running in the street. Then, they will get spanked. But not for behavioral problems.
Keep in mind, I'm not one those I just could never spank my kid sort of people. I always planned to spank before reading the countless studies and have only recently decided against it.
Strangely enough, I also listened to a pretty good audiobook (Drive- The Science of What Motivates Us, for anyone who is interested) on positive and negative reinforcement that was referencing a very old study that got little publicity and newer studies inspired by it. It showed just how ineffective the whole carrot and the stick game is at motivating people, driving them to less and less motivation, despite how counter intuitive that seems. I really suggest checking it out!
(One example being that less people donated blood if there was monetary compensation, vs doing it for free. The same with puzzle solving)
So, I'm still trying to find ways that are effective and also line up science. I'll tell you what else I discover!