Decision...to work or stay at home

I am new to this site but I would love some help. I recently, like haven't even told my employer yet, have decided to be a stay at home mom. Its scary and a huge decision but I love my children and have loved the last 3 months with them since being on maternity leave with my youngest. I worry about money and sacrifices and not making the "right" choice by choosing this. I am scared that by doing this it will ruin my marriage in some way and feel like I am contributing and doing more when I acutally "go to work". Is it always this overwhelming to make such a change? Please tell me it will get better! I would love some input :-)

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Moms Expertise
    02/25/14
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    02/25/14
    Thank you for the welcome and for your advice!! I am struggling, my heart says to stay home and that nothing, like materialistic things, is worth time away from my kiddos but my mind/brain is saying there is still so much that I want done at this house, we just moved in 2 yrs ago and stuff still needs to be done and call me greedy but I want to add on already as well, I know I can't have it all and right now I think my heart is winning! Yes, he is on board and totally supportive, his mom was a stay at home mom but what I fear is that he will expect me to be just like how his mom was when she stayed at home, she did EVERYTHING inside and out and his dad did whatever he wanted all the time but my husband is great and says he just wants me to be happy!!
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      02/25/14
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      02/25/14
      I totally agree Lisa, I am not a "high maintenance" woman by any means, I have had a job and still can't remember when I bought anything for myself besides a pedicure, I like to keep up on those lol, that I don't think will bother me to not buy stuff for myself and like you say I know that there will come a time, like after I lose this baby weight that I will want to splurge a little and go shopping and I know my husband will be on board! Its just such a huge decision to make and I hope I make the right one!!
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        I really struggled with the decision to stay home. I kept thinking "what am I worth if I don't bring home a pay check", "I feel like my daughter will benefit from me being with her 24/7 but what if she doesn't or it isn't worth the cost of losing my income?", "am I doing this for my daughter or am I doing this for me?", "my family will think I'm being lazy", "would my daughter be better off if I could provide more financial support?".

        It was mind numbing! But the thing tht pushed me over the edge to choose to stay home was simple math. In a week if I was out of the house my normal 50hrs per week for work I would only spend 41hrs per week with her. That's including weekends. I couldn't imagine being away from my baby more than I was with her. What would be the point of being a mom?

        So I quit, started my own freelance business from home, struggled, sacrificed, and I don't regret one bit of it.
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        02/25/14
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        02/25/14
        That's awful! I think what people forget is that an education cannot go to waste. It's not food that spoils in the back of the fridge. You can apply your education to much more then one career path, and motherhood is really just a different career path. Would they look down on you if you chose to go into a career that wasn't in your field of study? Over 70% of all Americans don't get a job that's related to their field.

        It's hard to identify yourself outside of a career, but now that I do I feel really liberated. In a job you are expendable. Even if you're a hard worker or the lead in your field there is always someone who can replace you. You're just a calculation in some company's business plan. It's really sad that we make that our identity - it's just not that important. But being a mother is. No one can replace me in my daughter's life :)
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          02/25/14
          I couldn't agree more Taylor, I have two kids my oldest is 3 and my baby is 10 weeks and with my oldest I have struggled since he was born with those exact questions and problems. I hate that his daycare provider, whom I LOVE, gets to see him and spend time with him more then I, to me right there tells me what I need to do. THanks for your helps ladies!! I would like to think of a "at home business" or way to help make a little extra income for us but have no idea what that would be. Ideas?!?
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          02/25/14
          I worked as a graphic designer so I was lucky that it translates into telecommuting well. What sort of work do you do? You can find telecommute jobs in data entry, IT, customer service, sales, personal assisting, etc. It just depends on your skill sets. Before I decided to open my own freelance graphic design business I would look on sites like virtualvocations.com and flexjobs.com for part-time or full-time telecommute jobs.
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          02/26/14
          I WAS a medical assistant, key word being was...yes I put in my 2 weeks today ladies!! Though I barely slept lastnight and its been an emotional day today I hope a great decision was made and I have to say I am proud of myself, as I rarely, do what I want usually just do what my husband suggests or just go with majority thinks, but this was my decision though it was discussed. I have been thinking today about the extra income part and was maybe thinking Pampered chef or something in that line. My friend just started tastefully simple and though I don't want to copy I thought that would be great because the people run out and then order more, some of the other businesses 31, scensty, ect. people get so much then they stop ordering!! Idk just all ideas!!!
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          02/26/14
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          02/27/14
          Thank you Kim!! It was a big decision but have a feeling it will be the best decision I ever will make!! Thanks for the encouragement!!
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          03/01/14
          Benita Stephenson
          Hi Carrie, I just joined today. I have been a Single Mom for a long time , and I have always put myself on the back burner when it came to my kids. Doing with very little, and in most cases going without for long periods of time. So I too know what it's like to not have new clothes, hair cuts, jewerly, etc. Until I came across a Real Work from Home Job / Opportunity. I have been doing this for almost a yr. now and Love it. Check out my Cover Photo on my Profile for the Link to check it out. I'm on a Mission to Help other Moms. Have a Blessed Day, Benita
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          About Carrie
          Birth: August 16
          On Moms.com since: Feb 25, 2014
          29 yrs old, live out in the middle of no where, has 2 kiddos 3 yrs and 12 weeks and a husband who owns his own granite business :-)