Do you get along with your siblings?

I have a younger brother and a younger sister and we do not get along. As adults we do not have a close relationship with each other. My sister and I rarely talk and my brother and I never talk. I am sad that I do not have a closer relationship with my siblings and I wish I could fix it but I don't think I can.

I have been wondering a lot lately what I can do while raising my kids to help them build a strong bond. I would be very sad and feel like I failed them somehow if they don't get along as adults. I want them to be there for each other and be able to support each other as teens and adults. I want them to raise their families together too. I want my kids to know that even after their dad and I am gone that they have each other to lean on.

I see other adults who have these great relationships with the families and I am jealous. If you have a good relationship with your siblings do you have any advice? What can I do to help my children to get along throughout their lives?

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4Katie
    02/28/14
    Comment deleted
    02/28/14
    4Katie
    My brother and I are 2yr apart and my sister and I are 6 years apart, both younger than me. Growing up it was not fun having to share a room with my younger sister.
    1
      02/28/14
      My brother is my best friend, I miss him. He moved to California 3 years ago we keep in touch and he comes to visit every year. I get a long great with my sister but we don't talk as often as i'd like too.
      2
        02/28/14
        I am the youngest of four girls. Its wasnt easy growing up with older sisters, even when I got married we still didnt get along. Things changed over time and we are closer than I could ever imagine we would be. We are all individuals with our own unique personalities, and just because we are related doesnt always mean we will get along. I am thankful that we do now. All you can do is teach your kids the value of family and love and hope that they will get along.
        2
          02/28/14
          4Rina
          Oh, I am really sad reading your post and all of these comments. My brother and I are super different and don't talk every day or anything like that, but I would still say there is a great closeness there. My husband is one of 4 kids (the oldest) and has an overall wonderful relationship with all 3 of his siblings, even though we live in Toronto, and his siblings live in LA, NJ and NY, respectively. I too think a lot about my own children and fostering a great relationship between them. I do think there are some things that parents can do to help achieve this, but it's ultimately not in our hands. If you are interested, I would recommend the book "Siblings without Rivalry." Also, read this article and reconsider reaching out to your own siblings - http://www.nytimes.com/2013/05/26/opinion/sunday/…

          After all, they are the only people who will know you for the entirety of your life. Demonstrating a good relationship with your own siblings (assuming they aren't horrible, abusive people) will teach your children that this is the way things should be.
          2
            02/28/14
            Tessa
            My sister is 9 years younger than me, and we do have a relationship but I'm more of like a mother figure to her even though our mom is very involved. I'm hoping the older she gets, she's only 14, the better and closer our relationship will grow. My brother and I use to be very close and then one day he decided to go down the wrong road, and i cant and wont raise my kids around people and situations like that. I still pray every day he'll come back one day. Im also very close with my sister in law. Shes about a year younger than me but ive known her since she was 10 so we are just like sisters. We talk at least once a week.
            1
              02/28/14
              8Theresa Gould
              My sisters and I get along as well as we can 1600 miles away. I don't consider us that close, though others have always thought we were close. I talk more to my mom than my sisters usually.

              I feel the same way about wanting my children to have strong bonds and will feel like I have failed if they are not close. I've always wanted a close knit family since moving away from all of my own family.
              1
                02/28/14
                4Katie
                I feel mostly alone, I have my mom and my husband and kids. I want so badly for my kids to have more than I do. I wish I had a bigger, closer family.
                3
                02/28/14
                8Theresa Gould
                I've felt like that too. I grew up around my extended family and it has been hard living away from my family.
                0
                  05/10/14
                  Melissa Middleton
                  I have 5 sisters. I get a long with one older one (Holly), the one that is closer to my age, older sister wise, and my little sister (Emiliee). I only talk to those two. The others are not very nice individuals. I have tried to have a relationship with them but they prove to me that I am better staying as far away from them as possible (I do love them though, and I pray for them). I wish we all were closer. The three older ones (Amy, Andrea, and Elizabeth) do not get along with each other, AT ALL...major cat fights will arise if they are within 10-20 feet of one another, unfortunately.
                  0
                  05/10/14
                  Melissa Middleton
                  I am best-friends with the older sister I am close to. We are far from one another but we talk 3-5 times a week on the phone. She will be getting internet soon, so I am hoping to video chat in the future. I love her to pieces. She is an amazing sister with a wonderful heart and soul--I am blessed. My little sister, she has mental problems. We still message each other; I am the only one she feels comfortable talking to. I am not sure how to advise you in how to maintain a stronger relationship with your siblings other than sitting them down and asking why or having a discussion. If you are trying your best to, than you are doing everything right.
                  0
                  About Katie
                  Birth: November 24
                  On Moms.com since: Jan 21, 2014
                  ***Community Manager of Moms.com*** Mom to four amazing children. I am passionate about helping and supporting new moms as they enter into motherhood. I am a certified doula, certified childbirth educator and an accredited breastfeeding counselor.