My daughter definitely pushes buttons, I learned how to stay calm and use a calm voice. She cleans up her own messes, or she sits in time out until she's ready to do so. I don't think I'm neither hard or soft on her. I think I let her know her boundaries and let her know when she is pushing her luck. She's only going to be 2 and knows her boundaries. I know she is smart. Her father on the other hand hates to see her cry or sad or upset.