Stepmother problems

My oldest is my only step child. His real mother has been out of the picture for a very long time. I have raised him since he was 1 and he calls me mommy. He does not know that I am not his real mother. My husband and I have been debating on when would be a good time to tell him. If we should tell him now or wait until he is older. He will be 6 in a few months. I was curious if any of you ladies have been thru this personally or have any advice on when and how we should tell him.

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Bre
    03/06/14
    Wait til he's older around 10, it's easier by then.
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      03/06/14
      Bre
      What would be a good way to break the news?
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      03/06/14
      Let him know that he will always be loved say your not his biological mom but that doesn't change anything ya know.
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        03/06/14
        Bre
        I just don't want him to feel like I lied to him all these years. I always tell him I wont ever lie to him. And I don't want him to resent his brothers when he finds out.
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          03/06/14
          I'm on the fence here.. On one hand, for all intensive purposes, you are his real mom and at 6 that can be really confusing.. At the same time, I wonder if it's something he SHOULD know... Does he have any idea? Any memory of his birth mom?

          You could take him for ice cream and casually tell him, how lucky you are.. that you're grateful for another woman carrying him and then letting YOU be his mommy... but that you didn't actually grow him.. I think a mistake would be made if you made a BIG deal out of it you know... maybe just address it casually with so much love and how happy you are... and then let him ask you questions when he has them..

          BUT... if there's no chance of his birth mom coming back, then I would wait a little longer... this is a tough one.. Personally, I'd wait it out a bit until he's older.. at 6.. it's just conceptually out of his league... you know...

          Is there a therapist or counselor at school or somewhere that you could just chat with? Just to make sure that you do it :right".. so hard.. you don't want to tell him too soon or wait too long... But then... you're his MOM right??? Maybe too soon...Until you have a story of his mom and how she wasn't able to care for him so you loved him so much that you just HAD to be his mommy...
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            03/06/14
            Hmm you're in a tough spot. Never having to deal with that sort of situation I can't tell you what's the answer. But if I was in your spot I would probably chose to not bring it up unless HE brought it up at some stage. And like Jessica said above not make a big deal about it but if he asks why you never told him tell him because in every way but biologically he is your son. He obviously deserves to know the truth, but at a time when he's old enough to understand.
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            About Bre
            Birth: December 31
            On Moms.com since: Feb 23, 2014
            I am a proud mother of 3 amazing boys!