Troubled past..

The hard thing about moving on from a troubled person / past is that they will always come back in your life when they feel like it.
My daughter stopped talking to her "father" John, last June because he always lied to her, hurt her feelings and wouldn't show up when he said he would. I always told him that in time she will see the type of person he is (self centered, manipulative,abusive ) and not talk to him again.

My daughter just had her 17th birthday on Monday and I had a feeling we may hear from him or his family. His sister sent my daughter an inbox message on her birthday. She told me.. then a couple minutes later passes a long a message from "John" saying he misses you. She blocked her. Then continued to block the whole family. None of them bother with her anyway. Literally. The only time they seen her was when he brought her over to visit.

Anyway, we go out for lunch and do a few things on her birthday.. then return home and her cousin on his side inboxed me this time on facebook. Saying how it's not fair that this is happening and she should be able to talk to them ect. She made it like I was going on my daughters facebook account and blocking all of them and not letting her know they tried to reach her. He is putting this into their heads.
So I said hey, she is 17 and if she don't want him in her life that's her choice. And how none of them bother with her anyway until not just to pass her messages from John. She kept on and on blaming ME & not him. Funny how that is. I get harassed when it's John who is to blame for all of it. Weird family. They still up for him and them put blame on me when they know how he is.

I made it known that I got my daughter a cell for this reason. So he didn't have contact with me. Had contact with her directly. So if things went bad.. it would be on him and not put blame on me. Yet, still, he makes people think I am to blame. Ugh. So annoying.

I had to block them all on facebook too so I was not harassed. Not sure how they even found me.

I left the marriage a long time ago because he was mentally & very physically abusive. I hoped that one day my daughter would see the real person he is. FINALLY, she does. I just hope not that he fades into the darkness and leaves us both alone. We will be changing her last name soon too.

I really feel for anyone who is in an abusive relationship and has to see that person's face daily. Or have grief from them for a long time after. Really awful to go through. I had to live with my parents for awhile after the divorce because he tried to kill me and stalk me and run me off the road. But, I prayed for strength and.. made it through.

So, if anyone.. ever, God forbid, is going through abuse feel free to send me a private message or get help in any way. Reach out & get out. ♡

    Comment deleted
    Thanks. Really nice of you.
      Hey lady! You are strong and brave and I can tell you're there for your daughter and support her without pushing anything on her.. There may be a time that she wants answers.. but that time is not today... Continue on your positive path... if you have to respond to them, stay brief and passive and you know what's right for you and your daughter.

      I'm so sorry for all of this and I think that what you're doing and HOW you're doing it is to be looked up upon..

      Good for you.. Feel pride in what you've overcome, continue to overcome and allow yourself to be the person you know you are...

      Much love to you and your daughter!
      Thanks, appreciate it. Yeah, I am always passive to him when I see him. Thankfully it's been almost a year since I've seen him. i pray it continues! Last time I did see him I was friendly even. Fake as hell of course.. but, it get's me through the day!
        Val, it sounds like your daughter is the outcome of what happens when a woman stands up for herself, like you did. Be proud of her that she hasn't normalized abuse in her life, instead she removes herself from toxic people.

        All of that said, I am sure it is all hurtful and confusing to her even if she knows he/they aren't good people. Just keep the lines of communication open with her. HUGS momma, you should be proud of both of you.
        Yes, "TOXIC" people.. This is indeed what they are. You wonder what type of family abusive people come from.. Now I know. Abusive, self centered people. I am just happy she don't even want to have anything to do with any of them now. It makes me very happy and know it put's her in a safer position.

        -hugs- Thanks
          Thanks ladies ♡
          Yes, Meg Sonnenberg such a LONG hard road. It's finally getting to the point where we can be happy again.I always had the smile and tried to seem happy. But, to be able to move on is what really makes it worth it.

          Thanks Stefany. I sure hope so. My daughter does seem to be all set with him for a long while now. She don't like to even bring him up anymore. She even tells people that ask if she see's him to not mention him because he isn't in her life no more. I am proud that she finally feels able to take a stand to him and say that she is all set.

          All I can do is pray that we keep moving forward and he moves forward in his own path and let's us be.♡
          Very kind of you to say ♡ *hugs*
          About Val Paille
          Current: Laguna Niguel, California
          Birth: July 19
          On since: Nov 3, 2013
          Boston/Cali. Army Family. Christian, Mom to a beautiful daughter who is 18. Married to my best friend. Known him since I was 14. EDD: 7/11/16 ♡