So this has been on my mind a lot lately.. about shame Mothers feel for doing this or doing that as a Mom.. fear of what other Moms will think if they do something a certain way.. and I don't like it. I feel like in this day and age there is so much competition online (social media too) to put the best Mom face forward.. doing everything organic, natural, basically picture perfect for the baby.. and it's just not realistic sometimes. Each family has to decide what is best all around for them and baby.. so I hate that Moms feel shame if they do something differently.. I have already been in this boat and I just want to release that I am my baby's Mom.. no one else is.. I am the only one who deals day in and day out with my babe, my family, my own situation.. so my choices reflect what I think is best for me.. thus all Moms probably do this for themselves too..
In a nutshell, what I am trying to say is.. embrace your choices as a Mom.. every Mom is just trying her VERY hardest to be the most amazing Mother for her babes.. so judgement and shame because we all don't do things the same way shouldn't even have a place in society.. in my opinion.. if we all lift each other up.. give support and tips/advice when needed.. then perhaps we would all feel much more open just being the Moms we were made to be..
Whew.. just a thought.. What do you think Mamas?
Mom guilt is terrible, we've all been there. Sometimes you don't even realize you are feeling it. At Bub's IEP meeting we were talking about what specific characteristics he showed as a younger child that made people stop and wonder if he was on the autism spectrum. As I was going through the list I kept saying things like "I probably should have looked more into that red flag..." because I do carry guilt that he didn't get services sooner. The school counselor looked right at me and said "Don't let mom guilt get to you. This isn't something you should feel bad about, you are doing everything you can to help him."
Like you said, those kind words really helped me process things. Lifted me up, so to speak.
Moms aren't really respected by society to start with, which is sad. Add to that the media- which fuels the Mommy Wars all the time, and the judgement we get from our own families. It is just easier to knock someone else down to feel better about our choices.
Of course easier isn't always right- and in this case it's definitely not right.