A but disheartened..

Did you ever feel, while preggo, disheartened by the people who you were OVER THE MOON for beign preggo.. checking in to see how they were.. being genuinely happy for them.. and then it's not remotely reciprocated? That is how I am feeling.. not so much from my sweet friends.. but like 99% of my in laws. I am always trying to text, send an email, message, to stay in touch and see how they are.. regardless of a baby.. but it's not reciprocated and I am super disheartened... almost to the point of.. if you don't care now.. don't act like you do when someONE arrives in February.. you know? I don't like when people only take an interest when something HAPPENS.. but care less the other 99% of the ‚Äčtime. I feel as though I won't be tolerant of it.. and to be honest.. their loss, not mine.

Do I sound mean? Eeek.

Should I try not to let it bother me? Sigh.

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    10/28/13
    Comment deleted
    10/28/13
    I can understand that.. but I was/always am honestly excited for others at any part of their lives.. so the fact that they will only become interested once they are born.. turns me off.. makes me bitter at them.. it probably sounds bad.. but if you can't care about us (husband, me and baby) BEFORE hand.. why should I care that you care once the baby is here? If that makes any sense..
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    10/28/13
    Comment deleted
    10/28/13
    Sorry.. maybe I am throwing a hormonal pity party (it happens) but I am just over the.. "be there when it counts" mentality.. I'm totally not like that and don't have time for people who are.. didn't realize my in laws made up that HUGE portion.. sigh. And I shouldn't care, because I have an amazeball family myself.. but it stings when I see them excited for my husband's brother and his family and not us.. ugh, sorry.
    2
    10/29/13
    One thing I've had to really learn is that different families operate very differently. Something that maybe be considered acceptable or even good in hubs family is considered douchebaggery in mine. Talking with friends I see allllll sorts of disparate ways of being a family. Maybe they think they are doing the right thing, though I still totally understand.
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      10/28/13
      Amanda Hurley
      You don't sound mean. You will eventually look back and figure out why they seem so distant. I do think hormones play a part in how your feeling, but your feelings are real. Maybe try to talk to them and find out why they don't seem so interested right now.
      3
        10/29/13
        You don't sound mean, and I completely understand. Though she told my husband to give me a hug for her, I didn't even get a text or call from my MIL when I lost the baby. I'd like to think that maybe that was her way of not rubbing it in, bringing it up when I didn't want to think about it or whatever. Most of my in-laws don't keep in contact with me very much if at all. I don't really 'fit' with the family... I think they expected hubs to marry someone very different. My outspoken nature I'm sure doesn't do a lot for them either, but there are some part of interaction that just irk me.

        Now I'm rambling.

        You don't sound mean though. Try to let it go and hope they will be closer when baby is here. Don't let it dampen YOUR happiness and excitement. :)
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        10/29/13
        ..thanks so much girl.. with a clear head this am.. I say, it's their loss, not mine. My family is very involved.. I can't make someone want to be close to me or the baby.. and come time they are born, I won't cater to them seeing them or being with them, just because they showed up for the moment.. my parents are around for the long haul and anything.. I don't have a tolerance for here and there type relationships.. or when it matters.. oops, sounding mean again! I just think life is too short to give into a relationship and not be treated the same?
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          10/29/13
          8Theresa Gould
          I don't think you are being mean. It's just the way it is.

          I use to bend over backwards for people and go out of my way to be kind etc. whether it was reciprocated or not. But to be honest, the more children I had the less I wanted to give to others because I felt I didn't have time or energy for the extra out put of emotions....or anything. My children/husband deserved my all. That included my in-laws unfortunately. Superficial anything now annoys me and I don't have time for it. It sounds crass but don't business coaches advise people they are coaching to get rid of anything negative in their lives in order to help them fulfill their goals? That's kind of how I've come to think of relationships. If the relationship is not good for me, it is not good for my family. If the relationship brings me down, it'll bring my family down and so on. That's just me though.
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          About Meg
          Birth: September 29
          On Moms.com since: Aug 5, 2013
          I am a new Mama.. married to my sweet Husband! I am a barre3 addict and a Team Leader here on Moms.com! I feel so blessed to do what I love and live life with the ones who make it magical.