may be TMI

so I am having a little issue with my down stairs. Caroline was a 10 pound baby at birth, over due, and i did it naturally, obviously there was damage to my area. no serious tearing on the outside, but thinking there was definite damage on the inside that the midwife missed. my issue is, i have absolutely no control down there, like when i have to pee, cant hold it, cant even stop in mid stream, which is causing a few embarrassing moments. I have tried kegel exercises, but finding that it isnt helping at all. and this is the part thats really difficult to get out there, i made the mistake of looking down there with a mirror and lets just say i dont feel so sexy anymore, what once was a tight small hole, is now a huge gaping cave, that i half expect bats to come flying out of. the boyfriend swears that he doesnt feel anything different since the baby was born, that it still feels the way it did before, but He also tells me i look beautiful and sexy when i have snot coming out my nose, so not sure how much i trust his judgement, I am feeling extremely self conscious about this. I want to feel normal again, I dont feel sexy at all, and peeing on myself every time i need to go definitely doesnt help. anyone got some tips, or words of comfort.

its been 6 months. last night an old friend that i have not seen in 7 years was in town, had me laughing so hard i was peeing on myself. i was ashamed, and had to excuse myself several times to clean myself. it was horrible. I really hope it goes back. I know it will never be the same, but as a woman, there are just some things that need to feel normal
    I feel your pain. When I was pregnant I would pee every time I sneezed. Now since I had the baby I sometimes pee when I cough so I tend to wear a pad just in case to avoid accidents. I was prepared for my bladder to not be as strong so it's just something I'm living with but like you kegals are not helping any.
    If it's worrying you I would speak to your doctor about it, but chances are it will heal in time.
      I feel your pain. I had 2 babies back to back and I thought it would never be normal again. I did kegals a lot. And everything looks and feels normal down there finally but I still have bladder issues and think I probably always will. They do make a special kind of pad just for bladder leakage, have you tried those for those just in case times?
      About Raelee Klein
      Current: Orlando, Florida
      Birth: February 06
      On since: Mar 17, 2014
      I am a stay at home mom, my kids are amazing, and too smart for me at times, love to sing and dance, and just hang out, and looking for people with kids the same age as mine so that i can introduce them to new friends!