Your not stronger, tougher or better if you have a natural birth. It was just right for you...

I don't think it has anything to do with how "tough" you are.. At all.. I think that's the biggest misconception and myth out there.. that women that have natural births are somehow stronger, better, tougher..

I've had both... well, my initial goal with my son was to have a natural childbirth BECAUSE I had this idea that I was tough and would prove it.. But after 16 hours.. I was miserable... and not just because of the pain.. Women that have natural births have the ability to go to a place inside themselves to focus and mediate and channel and disconnect if you will, I was able to go to that place, but what I found. was that while I found a place inside myself where I was able to "endure" the pain, I was totally disconnected from what was happening around me.. In order to get through it, I closed my eyes a lot, was barely able to speak, I don't remember anything of that time... I went to a place inside myself to handle.. BUT.. I wasn't present if you will..

Once I got the epidural... ( I was being prepared for a C-Section as my baby was too big for me).. But then I had to wait a few hours as there were emergency's around me.. ONCE i got the epidural, I "came to".. I was able to chat, talk, laugh, look at my husband, joke with the nurses, take a call from my mom and sister, eat a slushy... I was having an enjoyable experience..The whole next 3 hours was awesome.. I loved the nurses tending to me, I joked with the Doctor, I spoke to and with my husband, I was totally aware..

I had me c-section, everybody was fine.. no negative side effects, nothing..

My second, I had a vaginal birth and got an epidural as soon as I could.. and same thing, I loved being there, I loved having the birthing experience.. I was present and I remember everything..

Maybe not all women have to disconnect like I did.. Maybe some women can be present and still channel and meditate and get through the pain in a way that isn't my way, which was total and utter focus.. where I lost everything around me..

The pain is intense.. you can do it.. sometimes you just MUST do it, you don't have a choice sometimes.. our bodies are amazing, but I wouldn't trade my experience from beginning to end for anything.. I loved it..

So again, I think that women feel like women that give birth naturally or some amazing being.. I think they are amazing, but not for that.. I think we and our bodies are ALL amazing because we created, carried and then gave birth to a human life..

I don't judge anyone based on their birthing decisions. At all.. BUT, I have a hard time with the whole unspoken, you're better than I am because you did it naturally theme that goes on..

Giving birth is something you must do.. none if it is easy.. But the true strength comes from BEING a mother..


Moms Expertise
About Jessica
Born: Novato, California
Current: Sherman Oaks, California
Birth: May 28
On since: Aug 5, 2013
We live in Los Angeles, CA. I'm a writer, comedian, actor and single mom of two. Parenting is hard. I try to keep a sense of humor about it all and find the find the funny... in what is most likely NOT funny (i.e. boogers, meltdowns, homework, etc.).