Question: How structured is your day with your child/children?

I want to have more structure in my baby's life, but I am struggling. My husband and I have odd working hours. He is supposed to be working full-time from home, and I work MTWF in the office and Thursdays from home. My husband's job is very attention-intensive, so he tries to do it in the evenings and on the weekends, which leads to him sleeping like a teenager. My work hours are officially from 10am to 6:30pm, and on my in-the-office days, I have an hour+ commute each way. However, because my husband doesn't like to get up on time, I am often very late for work, and I kind of hate that. I usually get home from work at around 8pm, and because of that, my daughter's sleep schedule usually from midnight to 10am, with a 2-hour nap in the afternoon.

I suppose, technically, she's getting all of her sleep, and that's really what's most important, but I really feel like a bad mom for this sleeping schedule. As I type this, I feel like crying. That's how badly I feel like I'm doing. I read about so many other parents who put their babies to bed early, and I feel like I'm just ruining life for my baby. And I don't know exactly why I feel like that--she's usually cheerful and healthy throughout the day. It feels fundamentally wrong that she's not falling asleep until so late. It's a really big issue I'm having right now.

So! Wow, that was more cathartic than I realized. I didn't mean to vent so much, but rather to ask--how much structure is in your day? Do you set the schedule, and does your spouse support it? Are you worried about times, or just amount of sleep in general?

01
Moms Expertise
    03/24/14
    Breathe, your doing what's best for your baby and that's what matters. I have had a rough start to get on a steady schedule too. Just be consistent with it. My fiance works 7-7 so he is supportive of our schedule too.
    0
      03/24/14
      Hon.. if you're doing bad I'm doing worse! I don't gauge anything right now. Charlie is 15 weeks old. We wake up, we change diaper and eat, get dressed, play, or nap, or eat more, or do whatever he wants to do. I'm a SAHM and work online a few hours a day. Fiance works all day and is on call 24/7. When Charlie is a bit older we'll work on real routines but the boy falls asleep while eating. Not going to beat myself up, and neither should you! You just do what works for your family and don't worry about what kind of other routines kids have :)
      0
      03/24/14
      You do have the right idea at this age--fifteen weeks, you're just trying to stay sane while being awake to watch morning become night and morning again. I agree, whatever you can do to get past that point is fine!

      I suppose I worry because my daughter is 18 months! lol
      0
      About Tish
      Born: Homestead, Pennsylvania
      Current: State College, Pennsylvania
      Birth: March 04
      On Moms.com since: Dec 17, 2013
      Working mom of two, happily married, editor/content manager of scientific publications for a scholarly society in Washington DC, attached parent, extended nurser. Parenting and loving the best way I know how!