feeling defeated and annoyed!

Okay Ladies my boyfriend father of my child whom I live with has been jobless for a while. He has some major depression going on. He refuses to see anyone about it right now. With my condition its hard for me to go to a physical job so I had been trying to find something online. I have a rental property that usually pays most of the bills. I decided bc I can't get her out of the house the last few months to take the internet money and build her a playhouse. I thought also bc he spends all his extra time online it might make him sweat a little about money like I do. There is nothing left for an emergency. Nothing for me to take care of myself. Nothing for clothes ect. I just make enough to pay the bills that is it. Needless to say the internet didn't get paid for 4 months and its shut off. for some reason bc this was in my history I am still able to go here. I plan to go to the library to look things up or apply. My frustration is the fighting and not being able to afford anything.If i say anything he just yells at me and i rather not go there. I can feel myself parting my ways but I feel like I need to make sure if i part ways I have myself set up to where he cant bring anything against me. I really need some extra income and I have not been able to find anything where i can work from home that pays where I don't need to be some sort of computer tec. I am pretty smart about the computer. One person sent me to do reviews for a book on amazon that seemed like something i could do but then It didn't work out I really couldn't grasp what they wanted from me and at the time I was having a hard time with my daughter. The day they hired me she had her first and only fever. Later I realized it was her molars coming in. I feel like I just keep banging this wall that doesn't break down for me. I have all these repairs that need to be done on the house and I am really stressed out. I just don't know what to do anymore. Things have to change for me. I did start a stash but I have only put away 75. in the last 4 months. My house is even zoned commercial.I have a skin care license i wanted to open up a little spa but it hasn't worked out. I need money for the insurance to open which is about a grand! I If I keep going the way I am I would have it by next yr which is fine I guess but I need something to do now so i am not so stretched and I don't have to rely on him. I can't rely on him at all.

00
    03/26/14
    I am so sorry you are feeling stressed out! Why does he get upset with you when you try to discuss finances? That has to be disheartening, like you don't have a partner but another person to take care of.

    One of my deal breakers has always been if my partner wouldn't seek help for mental health issues then I would not stay in the relationship. Has he been diagnosed with depression or is that what you feel he is dealing with?Is it possible he just has gotten into a rut?

    Check out the website workplacelikehome.com. That is where I have gotten my best job leads. It's a great resource!
    1
    03/26/14
    thanks for the link Melissa. No he hasn't been diagnosed it is just this big rut he is in and he mopes around like a big baby. Yes it is like another child. I am loosing my patience with him.
    0
      03/26/14
      First.. Breathe.. I think .. if you re read your post that you already have the answer and know what to do.. Excuse me for being blunt..

      You have a skin care license.. you don't have to OWN a spa NOW.. go get a job at a spa place.. or a gym or start asking friends or around.. also you can have cheap to free business cards set up and start getting those out.. Look into hotels, spas, gyms, massage places, tanning places, etc.. where there's a will, there's a way..

      Secondly.. do you won the home you're in? Can you get Out of it and go someplace that's cheaper? Downsize? When I became single with 2 kids, I had to downsize a LOT and we moved into a one bedroom.. I let my kids have the room and I slept on the couch for 2 years.. until I could get my stuff together and afford more and i got settled.. it was small and it was challenging, but I did it and now I'm in a 2 bedroom.. and have my own room and bed.. baby steps.. I'm already able to do one more bedroom soon.. its' taken me 4 years though..

      I've clawed my way out of the hole and so can you.. If you can't talk to him.. then write him a letter.. don't attack, just explain that you're scared and need a change and don't want to live the way you've been living..

      AS for financial help.. can you get to the local courthouse? There are tons of things there and people there to help you fill out forms and apply for financial help.. It's there when you need it..

      try to see things as a to do list.. and then do one thing at a time.. you got this.. But i think it's amazing you have your license.. for skin care?? that's HUGE.. have your goal and dream (your own spa) and start working wherever you can to get there.. maybe be a rep for a skin care line, etc.. Go to the actual websites.. of s asking care.. and go to their career link.. sometimes they need customer service to take orders on the phone.. etc.. You may need to figure out a way to get your internet back though for this.. or go to the library to have it..

      Whaddaya think?
      0
        03/26/14
        I agree 100% with Jessica. Focus on your real baby and let big baby do what he's going to do (part of me thinks maybe he's bummed because the baby gets more attention than he does?) Baby steps are so crucial in your situation. I know you want everything right now but not only does it feel better later when you've climbed that ladder, it's also good for your child to see that sometimes we need to do what we really don't want to do to get where we need to be. I wish you the best, slow down and breathe hon.
        0
        About Nicole
        Born: Saint Petersburg, Florida
        Current: Bradenton, Florida
        Birth: December 29
        On Moms.com since: Mar 19, 2014
        I practice peaceful parenting holistic clean eating cosleeping crunchy mom . I battle chronic illness treating naturally with GAPS herbs and other natural remedies . I love to educate but I know my extremes aren't for everyone :)
        All Recent Nicole's Posts