Ok ladies I have a real problem. I ask for any suggestions or advice
My daughter's father is letting a terrific little girl slip through his fingers. He is truly what I call a part-time dad.He is only a real father to her when it is convenient or makes him look good. When she goes to "visit" him, she spends 97% of the time with her grandmother. Do not get me wrong, she loves it and so does her grandmother. They are glued to the hip! But his mom is the one raising our daughter, not him!. I have been nice for the past 7 years about it. he pays no support as long as HE helps out and such, but she does it all not him. What should I do? She is devastated that he does not spend time with her. My current husband is awesome with her. He teaches her things and plays games with her, even lets her give him a mani every now and then. These are things her father should be doing as well and doesn't. He did the exact same thing with his older daughter. I saw it!!!! It is so sad and I try to not let that happen to her, but it seems inevitable. I need some advice or consoling. Thanks ladies!
I was honest and told them, "No.. I don't agree with your dads choice and I don't understand it, but I DO know that he loves you.. I just think he does things differently"..
I couldn't make their dad a better dad.. and I couldn't take away the hurt that they would feel.. So, this was the first time that I had to let them have this experience and just.. BE there for them.. I had to watch them process this and manage it and be there in a second to answer questions..
So.. I guess my point is.. that kids accept their parents as they are... no matter what.. Be as honest as you can without being nasty.. and tell her, " I don't know what your dad is this way, I DO know he loves you so much.. he just shows it differently"
Not all parents are decent and she can grow up wight he understanding that he is NOT what she wants him to be, but she too can still love him..
Remind her that she's done nothing wrong and nothing she can do to make him spend more time with her.. that some dads are just .. better..
Kids rally and adjust better than we do..
Maybe cut back on some time there? And make sure that he is with her.. but if she's with her grandma.. and happy then I wouldn't intervene.. She ill get it.. and see him for what he is and she will mostly likely love him no matter what...
You can't change him,.. or control him.. stay focused on your daughter and what she needs because of him.. :)