HELP NEED ADVISE

So my mother and my husband have a history of not getting along...we were doing good for a while and then at Thanksgiving my mother said something childish and complained the whole time..so we had yet again another falling out...well she is coming to town next week for 3 days...my husband said he will be cordial to her, but if she says anything out of line he is going to rip her a new one and basically throw her out....so this visit could go well or it could go horribly...I have A LOT of anxiety about this visit...what should I do....call it off? or just see how things go? I thought about calling my mom and telling her to "act normal" but how do you ask someone to be normal? it shouldn't be this hard

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    03/31/14
    Comment deleted
      03/31/14
      I would not call the visit off. I would speak with both my mother and my husband separately and I would tell them exactly how their hostility toward one another made me feel. I would tell my mother that if she could not respect my husband then I would only be able to visit her at her home, and that it would be best that she not visit my home when my husband was around. But I would also make it clear to my husband that my mother is to be respected as well. They need to get to a point of mutual respect. They don't have to be best friends, but they absolutely should respect each other and be polite to one another. Good luck, hope this helps!
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        03/31/14
        My husbands mom and me do not get along either. She has said some pretty horrible things about me and to me in the time me and my husband have been together. Finally one day after she called my phone and cussed me out I asked my husband if he was ok with me calling her and letting her know exactly what I thought of what she had to say. He said ok and let me tell you I unloaded! Lol me and my husband both decided that if she ever speaks to us again we are going to set ground rules that must be followed. There is no way I am going to let that kind of drama touch our kids lives.
        Some of my family have not always been nice to my husband but I set ground rules with them as well. If they can't be nice and be mature, they can't be around. Any questions about our personal life is off limits, any opinion they have of our parenting skills or our spouse is off limits, past mistakes or relationships are off limits...it really has worked out so well.
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        03/31/14
        Thanks Amy........we actually have laid down boundaries for my mom in the past....she just seems like a very unhappy person and it shows in the way she speaks to people and she is constantly complaining.....honestly I don't know how much I actually like my own mother, but I am willing to work on our relationship and I want Bella to know her grandmother....do you think I should call her before she comes and "warn" her to mind her P's and Q's? I think that might start another fight...I am sure she will be on edge trying not to upset my husband...so I kinda feel like I shouldn't say anything...wish I had a crystal ball to see how this visit will turn out
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        03/31/14
        I would call her and let her know exactly what is expected. It is better to do it before you find yourself in the situation. It is hard that we don't get to pick our family, but one thing that I have learned over the years after having a hard relationship with my own father when I was younger, is that you DO get to decide how you let people treat you. In my way of thinking, knowing my children is not their right simply because they are family members...I mean I love them and would do anything for my family...except allow drama to upset my kids. I found too that when I make it about the kids and what is best for them, the family members seem to come around a lot faster.
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        About Becky Williams
        Current: Alpharetta, Georgia
        Birth: August 17
        On Moms.com since: Nov 22, 2013
        I have a beautiful baby girl that I am a stay at home to. I am hoping to get support and ideas from other moms