Fighting in front of the kids

Okay, so maybe I'm alone in this but I think you SHOULD fight in front of your kids. But you should fight the way you want them to fight. That means don't lose your temper, think carefully about the words you use, think about the issue from both points of view, and talk it through until there is an acceptable solution for both parties involved.

My point is that children learn how to deal with other people from our example. They WILL disagree with someone at some point in their lives. If we hide our disagreements from them they'll have no reference for how to deal with these situations. Not only with this most likely lead to a lot of physical confrontations and tantrums, it will give them an unrealistic view of how the world works. I mean if they never see you fight they could think that means there shouldn't be any conflict in a good relationship. What if you son or daughter has met "the one" but throws it away because they fought from time to time? Or worse, they've only seen you hide your feelings, act passive aggressively, and give up on communication so they do the same. That's not healthy.

Of course, setting a bad example is worse then no example. If you or your SO can't fight maturely then by all means wait until the kids go to bed or duke it out in your bedroom where they can't hear. But if you can manage it I would suggest showing your kids how you think they should handle conflict.

08
    04/01/14
    I suppose I can see the point to this. You do want your children to learn that married people do fight, but they also make up and can learn healthy coping skills. However I think you need to be mindful of what you discuss in front of your kids. Especially if it comes to money or trust etc. you don't want to worry them. If it's a little spat over the dishes or something like that it may not be bad.

    I think you do want to teach them how to handle conflict.
    2
      04/01/14
      Comment deleted
        04/01/14
        4Kimberly elam
        i agree.. teach them the proper way. so they have a good understanding if they are ever in a situation
        2
          04/02/14
          That's a great point like Leah Carlson said there are some tgings that you can't sis
          0
            04/02/14
            Sorry have to repost its a great point like what the other moms said certain stuff you cannot discuss in front of you kid(s) but you do bring up a good valid point I think having a mature discussion infront of your kid(s) it can show them how to deal with certain conflicts a certain way withour the cursing and yelling,I mean I know you can loose your cool and blow up cusing and yelling your only human,take a walk or find something if your kid(s) is there you will cool down mabey,or wait to your kid(s) are gone because that may can lead to your kid(s) to go out through life handling certain situations with anger even violence,as an example I mean me as well,which in the future I don't want to be fighthing with mean harsh words by yelling and cursing infront of my daughter I want to teach her there is better ways to deal with conflict than to be yelling,cursing and hitting and if others don't do the same walk away because their not worth getting mad over.
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            About Taylor
            Current: Chanhassen, Minnesota
            Birth: July 26
            On Moms.com since: Dec 18, 2013
            I'm the proud mama of my daughter Avery, born on June 6, 2013. I'm 26 years old, I work from home as a graphic designer, I will be testing for my 5th degree black belt in Tae Kwon Do in 2015. My husband, Derek, and I have been happily married for 3 years.