Divorced Parents (Grandparents to be) and family functions

Does anyone have divorced parents? Do are they able to family functions together or are they still bitter? My parents have been divorced about 7 years now and both remarried. The people they are married to now had nothing to do with the divorce. Anyway, my mom is planning a baby shower and she asked me if my dad and his wife Melissa would be interested in having a joined party, because I'm only around for a couple of days and it will be busy. I asked my dad and he seemed okay with it, but I received a facebook message this morning saying that him and Melissa would rather have they're own party. I just don't see the reason for the extra stress and work when my mom is planning one already. Melissa and I haven't ever had a great relationship but it would be nice if for family functions she could put what ever negativity she has toward me away and leave it alone. I don't want the baby to grow up in this unneeded stress.

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    04/02/14
    Comment deleted
    04/02/14
    Well, I don't mean to talk badly about my fathers wife but she has never been super friendly and she seems to try make every situation negative and stressful. I remember last summer I barrowed my dads car while mine was in the shop and for got to leave one of the keys on the ring and she called me screaming telling me how awful I was. Our relationship has mostly been that way for since they have been married... why? I guess only her and god know that answer. SO I dont have a good feeling about her budging at all.
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    04/02/14
    I know this will break my dad's heart, but maybe that is the best thing to do, I will only be in Maine a short time and don't need to stress about being 10 places in such sort time. I will give them the opportunity to come nd have a great time.
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      04/02/14
      I do have divorced parents, they've been divorced for about 13 years. We generally do things separate but for my baby shower, my graduation from college, wedding etc they put it aside and attend it and just keep their mouths shut, they are good at being civil for the sake of my brother and I and now my daughter. Now do they chat and hang out and make nice when they are together...no not really they generally stay away from each other and mingle with others. Which is fine.

      I think you should talk to them and tell them now is the time for them to start doing things for the good of your family and they don't have to be friends but they do need to co exist because they are both grandparents to this baby.
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        04/02/14
        My parents divorced when I was 6 and my brother was 3, but the two families don't get along well. My mom remarried a police officer, but my dad has stayed the raver/partier/dj ever since. It's awkward whenever my mom and dad and stepdad are together. My stepdad and dad dont like each other, but my stepdad at least tries to treat my dad nicely and be welcoming.

        The kicker was at my wedding, how normally the father walks to bride down the isle. Problem was, I dont keep in contact with my dad, except for the big things, like birth of his grandchild, or my wedding. My stepdad has been there for me more over the years, but I didnt want to have to pick one of them, and I didnt want them both to do it, because that seemed like it would have been awkward, too. Instead, my husband walked down the isle with me, rather than wait down the isle. That way, we had it as we were equals, partners, and neither parent could be offended.

        Divorce makes things awkward.
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        04/02/14
        I haven't had the best relationship with my dad either. But we have been trying to slowly mend things, it just doesn't help when his wife acts rotten for no reason,My step dad has been more of a role model as a father and has always been around for talks and encouragement. I think when I get married I will have my brother or cousin Branden walk me down the isle so I don't have to choose between my father and step father.
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          04/02/14
          Thank you, Leah I said this to my dad this morning over facebook but I will call him when I get the chance this after noon.
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            04/02/14
            My parents divorced when I was 7. They both shortly after got married to other people. My parents never got along and in the 10-15 years after that, It never got any better. The only event they all attended was my wedding, my dad didn't stay for the reception because he was "uncomfortable." another 10 years later and my dad will now vacation with my step-mom at my moms ranch and they're are no issues. Must help that my brother and I are grown. I would decline the second party.just explain its too stressful and you will only be there for a short time. Your stepmother just needs to suck it up.
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              04/02/14
              Stephanie it sounds similar to my family, glad to ear I'm not the only one who deals with this. My dd told me that I don't understand and that once I'm older with kids I will get it.... UMMM alright?
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                04/03/14
                My husbands parents are divorced and both remarried ... they function well...although there is sometimes a tension that you can feel... but i think that is natural!?
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                04/03/14
                It is natural,I would never expect for a divorced coupled to vacation together and become pals. But being nice with each other during family functions would
                be great!
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                04/03/14
                Amen, it is all far beyond my grasp. But I'm hoping it will all work out in the end, as it usually does!
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                About paige
                Born: Wilton, Maine
                Current: Silver City, New Mexico
                Birth: January 18
                On Moms.com since: Jan 30, 2014
                Hi, my boyfriend and I have recently found out we are having a baby, a little unexpected but now that it is becoming reality we are very excited!