Life was different before Wesley came along. I could do what I wanted when I wanted and I only had to worry about myself and the necessities for myself. June of 2013 changed my life forever. I had always wanted children and so did my fiancé at the time. I, of course, did not want a child any time soon. I at least wanted to wait until after the wedding in October 2013, but God had a different plan for us. When my husband and I found out that we had a big surprise brewing we took it a lot better than I could have imagined. He broke down and cried. He wasn’t sad or mad, but instead was happy and scared. Being a novice at pregnancy I had no idea what was ahead. I imagined it would be perfect and fly by. I was WRONG. I found that for me pregnancy was scary. There wasn’t a single day that I did not worry about the life I was responsible for keeping healthy. I was so tiny that every little movement was extremely uncomfortable. There were several times that we rushed to the doctor because the baby wasn’t moving that much. Those moments were terrifying. I was saved before I got pregnant but I was not as dedicated to God as I should have been. When I got pregnant I began to pray every day and had COMPLETE FAITH that God would take care of my baby and me. The faith I had in him is the only reason I stayed sane and I whole-heartedly believe that is why I had no complications and a healthy baby. Once I finally had my beautiful blessing the praying did not stop. It may have actually become more. Wesley would gag, choke, and at times stop breathing for a second before we even left the hospital. It worried me and the doctors and nurses never gave me an answer. They only informed me that it was “normal”. We stayed in the hospital two days and then finally got released. Once we were home the gagging, spitting up, choking, and breathing did not get better. At every doctor visit they would say it’s a “normal newborn”. I was not convinced. The first 5 weeks of my baby’s life we would take turns sleeping because we were afraid to let him sleep without someone watching. Wesley would constantly start choking in his sleep and we would have to get him up and help him. After 5 weeks I finally was able to get the doctor to listen and they put him on Zantac for reflux. This helped for a little while but then it began happening again. This time the doctor ordered an Upper GI and they found that he has severe reflux. He was then put on Zantac, Omeprazole, and Reglan. He has gotten better but still the symptoms flare up. When people gave me advice when I was pregnant they would say I wouldn’t get any sleep, I would learn the things I “had no clue about”, and a lot of other advice that honestly irritates any pregnant woman. The one thing they didn’t inform you about is the fact that you will not get any sleep because you are constantly worried and reaching over to check to see if the baby is still breathing. When the “experienced” grandmothers and mothers tell you “This is your first baby. You will learn to not be so worried and scared with the next one” I do not believe them at all. The fear I felt with this first baby I can imagine will be there with the next. Yes, the small things will not bother me as much, but I think I will still reach over in the night to check breathing. This child is my life and I thank God every day for each breath his gives Wesley. The day he outgrows my arms will be a heartbreaking day. I want every pregnant woman to know that out of all the things you are told one thing is the truest… Once you finally have that baby in your life you will love it so much that you will endure ANYTHING to ensure safety and happiness.Hand over everything to God and he will take good care of it all. Enjoy the blessing God has given you, even if it isn’t when you think it should be.