When moms become observers... Bittersweet...
My kids are 7 and 9 1/2.. As much as they still need me and how much time we are ll together, there is a change that's happening.. More so with my son.. as he's in 4th grade and has his friends.. and a crush and they have their own jokes and language.. and he's at the age, when a play date is a drop off, or if his friend is here, I sort of just go into the background and stay close and let them do their thing as though I'm not there..
They come home after their after school care.. and they pretty much do their own thing.. We are all together, but once homework is done, they go to their 30 minutes of game or tv or they read or play in their room or out in the living room next to me..
I'm still getting used to it.. I was always in the zone that I worked all day and then when I got them I was all theirs and was able to be 100 % present to them.. a puzzle, a game, coloring, crafting, wii, legos.. whatever.. but they don't need me.. and I find myself sort of .. unsure what to do with my new "free" time"... Only it's not really free you know? I'm still needed just enough that I can't actually get INTO something..
But it's both lovely and sad.. To watch them play downstairs and how they have their friends and rules and they don't need me much.. I'm so proud of who they are and how they handle things... yet, I miss them... lol..
But no matter what.. at night.. after baths... we are all on the couch together.. snuggling.. Such good kids..
But, yah, parenting is very bittersweet. There's no other job in the world where you pour in your heart and soul with the primary goal of having them leave you!
First day if fourth he didn't want me to wait w him, then I pushed his hair from his eyes and he pushed it back.
I cried all the way home. Cried cause I was proud. So proud and cried cause I missed him already and I knew that I'd had my last hair to the side brushing.