What to tell my daughter when she asks why she's not skinny ...
Heartbreaking moment last night.. in the tub, my daughter asks me why her arms are this way.. I said "what way?" and she squeezed her forearm and said, "Why do I still have baby fat? I'm not a baby?"
(her arms are still chubby.. she's 7 and we are NOT fragile people.. she is NOT fat.. but is still chubby.. well, you can see her picture...)
She asked why all of her friends didn't have it..
UGH!! So hard.. Her little friends at school, for the most part are all these tiny, skinny, short little things... seriously.. they are tiny.. and Addison is NOT.. she's never been.. I wasn't.. none of us are..
Addison has a luscious tush and her body is strong and yes, she still has some chubs.. but that little girl couldn't eat any better or exercise more.. she never stops moving and though she's 98th percentile .. she's just that way..
But it broke my heart.. I know how she feels.. her arms are thinker than her friend Lili who is a toothpick.. and the smallest kids in class.. she dwarfs her when they play... and one of her other friends grabs her arms and goes "squish squish"..
I told her that she was beautiful and perfect and that NO ONE likes a skinny boney toothpick.. that they loo sick and fragile, like they could break and that God made her body that way so she could play the sports she loved and dance the best that her body is luscious and beautiful and slammin and that the best way.. is to love her body.. I told her to look at her arms and say "I love you arms"... and then I also reminded her that as she gets older and taller that her arms will lengthen..
it's hard to refrain from saying thin.. or thin out.. and it's heart breaking that she sees something on herself that she doesn't like..and comparing herself to someone else.. I hope that someone didn't say something.. and even if they did, it doesn't matter, I have to make sure she has the tools.. the confidence.. But I'm scared for her..
Anyone? Any other things I should say or do?? I just keep squishing and hugging her and telling her she's beautiful.. but i've done this for years..
I even pulled her brother aside last night and told him to say something nice.. about her appearance.. and he did, he was so cute.. he said "you have great runners legs".. lol.. well, he tried..
She's just built this way.. Even at her 5th well check, the Doctor asked me to check her diet and I was like.. really there's nothing I can change unless she goes on fruit only.. and I told him that's how we are built in my family and sure enough at 6, he was super impressed.. that she'd thinned and lengthened and asked me what I did and I said, :"nothing"..
I was the exact same way.. not small.. not petite and not average.. But all the little girls in her class are all tiny it seems, but a few.. I mean.. like super tiny.. Like 35 pounds and boney.. and short!!! So, next to the small one.. she towers and looks ginormous..
She be okay.. we can always do better.. and thank you.. I'll keep doing what I do and making sure she knows she is amazing.. and the most important is she's loved by everyone.. all the girls want to play with her..
and I LOVE her arms.. cause they are the last bit of baby on her..
Now my 5 year old is shorter than her sister was at that age, and she weighs 55 pounds. She is a bit chubby and has a tummy. She knows she does, but we talk about it a lot and I explain that she is her own person and won't even look like her sister or anyone else because she is unique. It doesn't seem to bother her right now, and I hope that it doesn't as she gets older. I think she just has a different frame and I don't think she will every be skinny and long like her sister. But if she does bring it up, I'll always talk to her about it.
Sorry this is so long! But I agree that you are doing all the right things.