The husband & helping out

My husband helps when he can but his health isn't that great. So he has to not help some times and I have learned to just take over.I think I have been starting to get kinda bossy. And I'm not sure if that's a good thing.Because he can't help me. Does anyone else deal with this kinda thing? Or is it just me?

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    04/03/14
    I can understand the frustration. That's a tough one. I guess if there's any "good" in that situation, it's that his inability to help is not because of choice, but by rotten chance.

    I think as mothers we all feel a certain "my way is best". I do because I'm home all day with Charlie. Nobody knows his noises the way I do because I've spent many hours figuring them out. But it's also important that Dad know too. So every night whether it's for a minute or an hour, Dad gets just him and Charlie time and mom gets time to herself.

    I think the best thing you could do is find things that the hubs CAN help with. Even if it's something small. For example, I take baths with Charlie so it's Dad's responsibility to come get him, dry him off, put his lotion on, get him dressed etc. If you find small stuff he can still feel included, you won't feel so bossy and things will still get done. I would love to hear about your progress, hang in there!
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    04/03/14
    All of that sounds like good advice. Whenever someone or my husband thinks Nina wants something or is trying to interpret h er noises and can't tell why whatever they're trying isn't working to make her happy again, I get kinda irritated because I know they're wrong. It's like...I am with Nina all of the time. If I'm at the store, at home, going out somewhere....she's always with me. So when even my husband tries and fails to correctly do what she wants him to, it's just like "Give her here. She needs this/that." But he's home so seldom that I just try to let him enjoy his free time with her, and not ask him to do anything unless I really need it.
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      04/03/14
      I know I get bossy with my husband sometimes, when he tries to help out, and just take over. His health isn't poor, but he has to work all of the time, and rarely has free time (Navy), so usually when he and our daughter interact, it's Play Time, but when he goes to do something to help out, I get antsy even though I trust him completely, so it's just like "Go enjoy yourself, let me do it." I've gotten used to being the one who takes care of everything around here, whether its him, Nina, myself, cleaning, fixing something, anything. I feel like it's going to be more of an adjustment this coming year, since his ship will be deployed for almost half of a year, so when he gets back, I'll definitely be used to being "In charge" around the home.
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        04/03/14
        Beth
        My husband is in perfect health so he has no excuse... I have become a huge bossy butt. I hate it, and I always tell him I'm so sorry, but truth is if I don't tell him what to do it doesn't happen. I'll feel bad about bossing him around over not getting any help.
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          04/03/14
          The one way we get a persons heart to change is through love. It is hard to show love to someone who continually fails in doing their responsibilities but the one thing we can do to show love in this case is to continually look for times to thank them and appreciate them when they do something right. This encourages our partner rather than discouraging them. As they get better encourage them more and more. Always remember a man desires Respect most out of a relationship and us women desire their love but we can't get the love out of them if we can not respect them.
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          About Tiffany Harmon
          Current: Bullhead City, Arizona
          Birth: May 24
          On Moms.com since: Jan 3, 2014
          I am a christian stay at home mom. My husband and I have been married for almost 3 years now. And on 11/07/2013 we had are first baby.