Please don't get pregnant on purpose without telling the father...

In a nutshell, don't get pregnant on purpose without telling the father. I try (though, admittedly, fail on occasion ) to not tell people how to live their lives, because it's none of my business... What works for me may not work for you and vice versa, but I feel like this is one of those things I can give an over-arching statement on. Don't. It's a bad idea. It's not good for anyone involved.

If you really want to get pregnant and aren't willing to wait on your partner, use a sperm bank or something. It's not fair to rope some poor guy into your plan, not to mention your child. Do you really want the foundation of your child's life to be based on lies and deception (and let's be honest, most likely arguments) Would it make you feel good that you made such a huge, important decision that way? In my opinion it seems kinda selfish.

For me, I think the best way is on a foundation of trust, with two responsible, willing parents... Having a baby can be hard and stressful anyway. It can causes arguments in couples. A baby should be brought into a pretty stable environment if at all possible... If you get pregnant without telling the father you're trying to do it, he might get resentful of you and leave. He might stay and feel resentful of baby. He might leave and YOU might feel resentful of baby for ruining your relationship (even though they didn't, you did... good relationships require communication and respect)

I think, especially if you want to keep the father around in your life, this is one of the most disrespectful and deceptive things you can do. You have a right to have a baby, but your partner has a right to not. It's not your decision to make.

Oh, and if you think that having a baby will somehow magically 'save' a relationship, get that out of your head. Your crazy pregnant hormones will probably go ahead and knock that out of the ballpark, and if they don't, the fights and sleep deprivation of having a newborn might. Not saying it has never worked for anyone... But there are FAR better ways to do this. Far, far better, much cheaper ways.

I've been as baby crazy as the next gal, but please... no pins in the condoms or flushing the pills down the toilet. Be patient. Or use a sperm bank. Don't make someone else's major life decision for them.

What do you ladies think? Is trying to get pregnant without telling the father a bad plan?

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Moms Expertise
    I think it MUST be a mutual decision ... parenting is partnering ... how can you partner without talking about such a big decision?
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    About Cassaundra Owens
    Birth: February 13
    On Moms.com since: Oct 11, 2013
    I'm a little strange, pretty green, and learning to live life as a wife, future mother, and entrepreneur. Right now, my husband and I are trying for our first after 3.5 years of infertility and 2 losses. Viva la adventure! Join me too at MortalMommy.com!