My son's friend is called "gay".

One of my son's best buddies doesn't have very many other friends. I asked my son why he thought that was, and he said that the other kids say he's "Gay".

I was shocked by this.. FIRST.. what does that actually mean at 9?

I asked my son what he thought and he shrugged and said, "I don't care. He's fun to hang out with".

My son may have more tolerance than some.. I have a few openly gay, married friends and they are amazing to me and my kids.. So, from very early on he knew that love is love.. and we celebrated when same sex marriage was made legal here.. He got it.. and we are Christian but we never understood why it was against the law.

I digress...

Yes.. this friend is NOT the rough and tumble aggressive, soccer playing, football throwing boy.. but neither is my son.. Would I guess he's gay? No.. and if I did think he was gay, I wouldn't give a crap..

but what bothers me the most is these kids are NINE... and it's bigotry to say they don't like him BECAUSE he's "gay".. it's okay not to like him.. but to say that THAT's the reason? Ridiculous..

We live in Los Angeles... you would think that it would be a non issue.. who cares? But I feel badly for his mom.. how do you handle that.. how do you tell you son why people are jerks like that.. and then explain to him what he does that's "gay"...

I think you know when they are young.. and I think you can tell.. or have an inkling.. But that doesn't matter.. so what????

What would you do? what would you tell your child if they said someone was gay at this age and what would you tell your kid if people called him gay??

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      That's not nice, nor is that a nice word to call someone. That word use to mean happy but now its just offensive used in that context. Sad how people and children act towards each other.
      Kids are little versions of their parents.. and it's awful.. Maybe the parents don't know they're saying that, but it would never occur to my son to call someone GAY.. whether it's in a bad way or positive.. Being Gay is fine and saying someone is Gay is fine.. if they're gay and out.. My gay friends call themselves gay..
        Hmm.. I grew up in California and was exposed to A LOT more than kids around here are. I hear quite a few derogatory slurs and I'm shocked every time. I try to remember that a large number of people I live around have lived here their entire lives. So have their parents, grandparents.. and so on. I know people who have never been farther away than the "big city" 2 hours away. So yes, they're weary of minorities. They're weary of gay people, they're weary of a lot of things.

        The best I can do is raise Charlie to be open minded and accepting. And the only way I can do that is to expose him to as much as I can and teach him that people are allowed to have opinions and it's got nothing to do with him.
        Amen Alissa... I'm super understanding of people that come from smaller towns and have different experiences and point of views.. . and I don't expect people to share mine. But I do expect a common respect.. it just seems ugly.. at such a young age..

        Exposure is the key and I get that. My kids have been exposed to a loving, caring, warm, funny married male couple since they can remember. They understand, that sometimes girls love girls and boys love boys.. They have both decided that they have crushes on the opposite sex but they don't "see" gay in our friends.. they just see John and Mike.
          I definitely think that's bullying. At 9 years old no one is gay or straight, they're just kids. They are saying that just to be mean. It's basically just calling him a sissy (just in a much more derogatory fashion) . It's good that your son is tolerant. I would just tell your son to be a good friend to him and help him to stand up against people being mean to him. One good friend can be the difference between a happy childhood and tragedies like school shootings.
          About Jessica
          Born: Novato, California
          Current: Sherman Oaks, California
          Birth: May 28
          On since: Aug 5, 2013
          We live in Los Angeles, CA. I'm a writer, comedian, actor and single mom of two. Parenting is hard. I try to keep a sense of humor about it all and find the find the funny... in what is most likely NOT funny (i.e. boogers, meltdowns, homework, etc.).