Credit Card Declined At Store!! Taking an embarrassing moment and owning it...

Okay.. so two things.. this is how i know I've matured and am a mom...

Big store trip yesterday.. $150 plus.. card declined.. I try again.. declined.. we try as credit... declined.. Crap...

This would have embarrassed me at one time.. I would have been mortified.. for my kids, for myself, worried what other people might think..or worse.. pity or feel badly for me..

But.. for some reason.. maybe it's maturity.. maybe it's having been a mom for 9 plus years and having dealt with major issues, this seemed no biggie or maybe it's just the understanding that everyone has had this happen at one time or another for one reason or another..

Also.. the check out lady wasn't rude about it or nasty.. she wasn't super nice either.. but I smiled and said, "well, shit. that sucks, right?" and it kind of lightened her up... like she knew I was going to handle it well.. and I didn't scramble for the ol "i swear there's money in there, etc.."

I looked in my wallet and told her i had $90 in cash and we started putting things back until we got to $90.. and we were on our way...

First.. I had the money.. but a check wasn't available immediately to me and so it was declined.. and I kind of thought that as I was standing there..

But regardless. as one of those moments that would normally be super embarrassing and shameful, I felt sort of liberated.. I apologized to the line behind me and made a joke about how they picked the best line.. etc.. and everyone smiled at me.. as though they knew what it felt like..

I realized two things.. One.. we are ALL in this together.. no one person is better than the other.. I have good friends with big houses and nice cars and they have less in their bank account than I do.. and I it's just fought right now and I think that everyone feels it and knows it and has been humbled at one point or another..

Secondly.. a sense of humor will not only save YOU from an embarrassing moment, but will save face... I left not feeling defeated, I left feeling prideful that I handled it with grace, humor and dignity.. I showed my kids.. that sh** happens and you roll with it and sometimes making self deprecating jokes towards yourself eases the pain of worrying about someone else making them or judging you..

Needless to say.. all is fine and no major food was lost.. kids were happy when I put back the organic broccoli :)

Whats a moment that you've had that you turned from being possible awful to positive??

03
    04/10/14
    Love it. That is seriously one of the most embarrassing times.. and I've often wondered why it is so. Like.. "Yes, I bought all of these groceries knowing that I didn't have enough money, but I thought maybe I could trick the system." I live in a very small town, pretty much everyone knows how much money you have regardless of what happens at check out. But they're also the salt of the earth people that will hand over a $20 if I was short, because they know that I would do the same.

    Pretty sure my pregnancy is what could have been an awful. I'll explain. I'm no longer ashamed to admit that I only knew my bf for a very short time before finding out we were pregnant. 8 weeks really isn't 8 weeks when you live 2 hours away from each other. It's 4 dates. It's texting. Then it's a trip to Las Vegas... and 8 months later it's a Charles Giovanni.

    Maturity has played a huge role in why my life turned out really good. I could have been like a lot of women that I unfortunately called friends at the time. I could have kept working my butt off at a job that I loved. I could have stayed in my cozy apartment that I could afford. I could have gotten child support. Instead I took a chance that after years of trying to conceive with the wrong man, I may have found the right one.

    It's the best decision I've ever made. Quirks still need some ironing. He's known me pregnant for a longer period of time than he hasn't. But in all of my sacrifice I've given Charlie the best possible life. And that is positive :)
    2
    04/10/14
    Hey Alissa.. Just FYI.. the couples that I know.. that are still married and have out married MOST everyone.. (including my sister who knew her husband for 2 months before they she got pregnant).. are the ones that are STILL married.. I swear.. the couples I know that have lasted the longest.. and also seem the most happy... are the ones that didn't know each other well in the beginning or got pregnant early and quickly.. They don't all work out, but they can and they do..

    Either way it is what it is and this is your story..

    Also.. yes.. I also think that there are so many glitches with banks and internet and online stuff that it's safe to say that it may NOT be your card or lack of funds... lol.. sometimes.. in this case it was me.. but.. there have been a couple of times where my card was blocked after a large purchase for fraud protection or they made a mistake or something.. :)
    1
      04/10/14
      That's a great attitude to have. Once when I was 17 I was driving my brother and I beck to my dads the day after christmas. It was a 2.5 hour drive through a lot of snow and ice. In the middle of no where I got a flat tire on the freeway. I knew I should have stopped so I didn't ruin the tire but it was dark and dangerous on the roads. I didn't want to get stuck there. I drove to the nearest exit and ended up at a truck stop with no one to help except my 13 year old brother. I called my dad for help and all he said way "well, I guess you'll be getting here late. I'll leave the light on for ya"

      I was alone, scared, cold, and had to take care of my brother. I could have cried or freaked out. Instead I tracked down the number for my dad's AAA account, dug in my backseat for spare change, and bought my brother and I dairy queen blizzards for dinner. I figured If it was going to be a sucky night, it was at least going to be a sucky night with ice cream, LOL.
      0
        04/10/14
        8Theresa Gould
        Sounds like you handled it well. My brain must be in a fog because I cannot think of anything specific where I've turned something possibly awful to positive.....I'm drawing a blank.
        0
          04/10/14
          That cashier was probably thinking "Great, I am going to get cursed out for the umpteenth time today" haha. Really you handled it with grace and class which is awesome.

          I had my card declined once when we were doing a military move across the country at a hotel with my two babies and no other cards or even a check book on me. That was horrible! The bank froze our account because of multi-state purchases in one day. Sigh.
          0
          About Jessica
          Born: Novato, California
          Current: Sherman Oaks, California
          Birth: May 28
          On Moms.com since: Aug 5, 2013
          We live in Los Angeles, CA. I'm a writer, comedian, actor and single mom of two. Parenting is hard. I try to keep a sense of humor about it all and find the find the funny... in what is most likely NOT funny (i.e. boogers, meltdowns, homework, etc.).