A post in which I rant about my husband.

I am losing it today, because my daughter's separation anxiety is somehow my fault. My husband isn't saying that, but I think he thinks it, somewhere in the back of his mind. He complains about how it makes his day harder, and in those complaints, I don't feel like I hear any concern for our daughter at all, and I hate how he can compartmentalize our baby into an annoyance. I really want to ask "Why aren't you a better parent? Because if you were a better parent, she wouldn't mind when I left her with you!" But I don't say that, because I know it's unreasonable. Sometimes I think it, though, wondering why she isn't more attached to him--he's the one who's hardly left since day one. And I wonder that it might be him, that he doesn't even try to relate to her...and then I step back and again note that I'm being unreasonable. Somehow he's allowed to say unreasonable things, though.

Pair that with him quipping that I better make sure to "take my prenatals today," implying that I look fat enough to be pregnant--in front of our babysitter--and OH MAN, I'm gritting all of my teeth away.

Most days, he and I are fine. Today may not be one of those days. Maybe I'll feel better now that I've written here the things that are floating around in my angry mind.

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    04/14/14
    Here's the deal. No matter how much time he spends with your kids, most likely they will always prefer you.. there's just so something about a mama. Something you can't really explain.. he may do everything that you do but it doesn't matter.. something about a mama.. so when you say you feel he is frustrated by that, just understand that he may feel less because of it.. My kids dad would get annoyed to.. not with the kids or with me.. but just in general.. how awful is it to be with your baby and then the baby cry every time the mom leaves the room? How awful? Even thought we know and they know what it is and it's not personal.. it hurts.. so just know that.. and he may feel like he's not good enough..

    Remember he's a man.. with pride.. and then acknowledge that to him and THEN tell him how you feel.. :)
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      04/14/14
      Charlie is finally to the point where he's recognizing Dad as an important person in this house. It took 4 months for him to notice (or for me to notice that he noticed) that Dad is not gramma, or grampa, or the friends that watch him once in a while. My bf wishes that I would let Charlie cry it out sometimes. I don't. My choice. But that means that when dad is left home alone with him he has to get up and do things the way mom does, or suffer the consequences.

      Sometimes you just take different routes to get to the end of your day. It happens. That's why this site is so great, we can vent as loud as we can type and there will always be a mom or 12 that completely understand.

      I appreciate the fact that you step back to go over this in your head before calling him a bad father, or husband, or human being.

      We all have these days.. it WILL get better. Hugs honey.
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        04/14/14
        Hi all, I'm going to reply as a new post--please know your answers have been very helpful to my spirit.
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        About Tish
        Born: Homestead, Pennsylvania
        Current: State College, Pennsylvania
        Birth: March 04
        On Moms.com since: Dec 17, 2013
        Working mom of two, happily married, editor/content manager of scientific publications for a scholarly society in Washington DC, attached parent, extended nurser. Parenting and loving the best way I know how!