Comforting with food.
I'd like to say this first. I'm not big because my mother fed me. I'm big because I have bad habits and don't exercise enough. That being said......
My mom is up here now, and I'm noticing that at the first sound that Charlie makes she's after him with a bottle. These are the things I've said so far... I am deathly afraid of her constantly feeding him the way she did us. What else can I say to make this effective and NOT a battle?
1. He's not hungry.
2. Mom, he's not hungry.
3. You'll get to know his sounds the more you watch him, he's not hungry.
4. He just woke up. After he wakes up we check the diaper, then he's usually hungry and you can feed him.
5. Mom... he's not hungry.
6. Check the diaper, he's crying because his diaper is dirty, then feed.
7. Mom. I'm worried that you're trying to comfort him with food. I do not want you to do that. If he's upset it could be a few different things. Check his diaper, sit him up, rock him, walk him around, etc....
8. Mother.. he's not hungry.
Sigh. My mom is very sensitive. She's just moved here and she just wants to please every one. But this really is one of the big reasons that she won't be watching him alone for a long time. I have to know that she is capable and not breaking my rules before she's allowed to babysit.
So... what else can I say?
He's at the very beginning phases of teething so sometimes a cold binki is all he wants, but she mistakes that for wanting the bottle. I explain that wanting something in his mouth is NOT an indicator of hunger. Then she says.. "oh okay".
Also you could mention that you would prefer if she asked first instead of feeding him. Do it nicely, of course. But it's really ok to have those kinds of boundaries set up.
Have you tried asking her out of curiosity why she thinks Charlie is hungry just to see what she says?
Tonight we were working at the rental house and she was there watching him for me. I went in to see how he was doing and his bottle was empty. I always take a full bottle when we go there. He's never finished an entire bottle in the time we're there.... I guess it's just time for a talk that's a bit more stern. Thanks ladies.