The Brains of the Operation

In my house I'm the brains of the operation. I do all the planning, problem solving, and system creating. I do the meal planning, create the grocery list, come up with our chore list/schedule, manage the budget, handle all financial planning, pay bills, manage avery's appointments, plan vacations, organize holidays and family get togethers, manage home repairs, and pretty much anything else you can think of.

My husband is the do-er. I come up with all the plans and give him a list of tasks he can help me with. He's generally pretty good about doing what he's told. We joke that I'm the queen bee and he's the worker bee.

We're pretty efficient, but being the queen bee all the time is getting to be exhausting. I have my own business to run on top of everything and by the end of the day my brain is fried! The only stuff my husband does on his own is the dishes (because we agreed he was in charge of that) and picking up around the house (thank god he's a bit of a neat freak!). Sometime I get tired of hearing my own voice because I constantly have to tell him what to do. It's like having another child!

I feel like it's hurting our relationship too. It's really hard to feel attracted to someone who feels like a big child to you. I don't really know what to do about it though. I try to give him things to be in charge of but it doesn't work out. He either doesn't communicate about it at all, which can interfere with the related stuff I'm planning, or he asks so many questions I might as well have done it myself.

I want us to be equals in our marriage, but I'm worried we're just getting worse since Avery was born :(

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    04/18/14
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    04/18/14
    Thanks! We've talked about it a ton! It's kind of been a recurring theme in our relationship. He was the youngest and only boy growing up. His parent's really babied him so he's not used to being in charge of anything. He says that it's just hard for him to think about the "big picture". I was getting used to it, but now that Avery is here it's gotten so much worse... I guess we should have another sit down and talk about it.
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      04/18/14
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        04/18/14
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        About Taylor
        Current: Chanhassen, Minnesota
        Birth: July 26
        On Moms.com since: Dec 18, 2013
        I'm the proud mama of my daughter Avery, born on June 6, 2013. I'm 26 years old, I work from home as a graphic designer, I will be testing for my 5th degree black belt in Tae Kwon Do in 2015. My husband, Derek, and I have been happily married for 3 years.