Just to vent... :-/
I don't know if it is possible to have postpartum depression close to a year later? I remember when I first had Hunter I had a big of a depression not knowing if I was able to handle the stress and pressure of being a new mom and going back to work. I always thought I was making a mistake, and I had no idea what I was doing. My boyfriend and I fight a lot more since he was born, and he has threatened to leave me many times. It has taken everything out of me to beg for him to not leave me and the baby because I don't know what I would do without him.
Now, I have these feelings again of am I good mom, am I making the right decisions for my son, I have feelings of wanting to just runaway and leave, and I hate the way I look and feel. Is this normal?? My doctor gave me a prescription for an anti-depressant medicine, but I have not yet filled it.
I love my son, but I wonder each day am I doing good for him?? I am not home because I work full time, and I don't know what I am doing when I am with him half the time. I am just trying to guess on everything that will keep him happy. I keep my head up and do what I can and what I am told, but I am starting to get tired and exhausted, I can't stop crying sometimes, and as much as I am trying to loose my baby weight, I just want to eat and eat.
I guess this is just a faze, and I hope that it will go away soon. I am normally a really happy person, and I normally don't hold on to feelings like this, but for the first time I can't seem to shake it.
Sorry about this post, just once in a while, it feels good to get out what you feel and know that I am not alone. Hopefully this will be a phase and I can move forward and get over this.
Take a deep breath and vent as much as you want to my friend, we're listening :)
This is why I joined this site, because I don't have any other friends with kids, and Matt's family sort of expects me to know what I am doing. Just have to take everything one day at a time.
So.. welcome to the site, I suggest visiting the Moms Expertise section and providing your feedback. It's amazing how much better I feel when I know that my opinion or something I've been through has helped another mom. Good luck to you mama!