Help!

So my 3 year old daughter has developed quite the attitude. She thinks it's okay to hit and has even gotten in my face. I don't know what to do. She thinks time out is funny and all spanking does is hurt her. I don't ant to hit because I don't think it teaches her how to behave and I'm not good at controlling the force behind the blow. My son is 10 months old and doesn't want to sleep in his crib. Lately, he's been crying himself to sleep even though I'm holding him. He will do that for half an hour or so. I am overwhelmed and having trouble balancing life with kids.

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    04/29/14
    Comment deleted
      04/29/14
      Well kids will be kids! I know it's so frustrating though!! Your son could be teething..? Or just in a funk..? Or growing..? I know these things make my son fussy and sometimes he's simply acting like a baby and wants to be fussy.

      I'm not sure about your daughter, maybe try what Kim said and talk to her about it. Explain why it's not good.
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        04/29/14
        4Rina
        Hi Alicia - sounds like you have your hands full! It seems to me like your daughter needs attention. Perhaps she is having a hard time with a new baby in the family and with the amount of time that a baby takes. Remember she's really still just a baby herself. I would have slightly different advice than the other ladies...perhaps you can try both and see what works better. Start by reconnecting to your daughter as much as possible. To the extent you can, eliminate almost all criticism, correction and punishment for a few days. That doesn't mean that she can do whatever she wants, but you should try to redirect gently and look the other way when you can. Strive for 90% positive interactions and really TRY as much as you can to find things to compliment her about, even if they are minor in your eyes. When she gets upset, empathize with how she is feeling - accept the emotions if not the actions. And most importantly, find at least 15 minutes each day to have one on one fun time of her choice. Try this for a week, and I can almost guarantee you will see improvement. Once you do, you can get more into the consequences for misbehaviour. But even then, 80% of your interactions with your child should be positive ones. In the long term, the only power we have over our kids is their love for and admiration of us. When the want to please you, they will behave better.

        If you want more information, I would read "Raise your kids without raising your voice." I can't say I have reached that level where I never raise my voice - I definitely do at times - but this gave me lot of good strategies that I've been employing for years.
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          04/30/14
          Welcome Alicia! The ladies have some wonderful advice here! I have no advice for your 10 month old because to avoid crying I just co slept with my children and cuddled all night! ...as for the 3 year old ... have you tried a time out when she does this and perhaps an explanation of why it is wrong?
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          About Alicia Watson
          Born: Batavia, New York
          Current: Pavilion, New York
          Birth: September 29
          On Moms.com since: Apr 29, 2014
          a part time working mom and I wish I could stay home with my kids. Balancing my life has become a challenge since my kids were born.