Confidence tips for big, beautiful moms
I think that all women, regardless of size could use a dose of confidence these days. The "what's your excuse?" epidemic has not helped us. Being a bigger girl from day one (6 weeks early, 9 lbs 7 oz), I never had to deal with what many of my mom friends have. Many of them gained weight after high school, after marriage, after kids, etc. So they had to deal with the stigma that surrounds weight later in life, which could make things a bit easier to handle, or harder. Confidence has never been an outside issue for me. On the inside however I've always been pretty tiny. Women who become your friends because you're "safe", men who show interest because they think you're an easy yes. It makes me laugh now that I know who I am, but in my teens? my 20's? Whew.. I would't trade these grays for a day back in those shoes.
As far as tips... this is what I know. Not everyone who smiles at you is your friend. Not everyone who says I love you, does. Not everyone who should accept you, does. No matter your size it MUST start with you. If you're man does not tell you you're beautiful at every turn, it doesn't mean you aren't. If you ask anyone if you look fat, you're asking for it. So don't. Don't read magazines. Don't watch shows that tell you what you should look like. If you like the way your behind looks in those jeans, WEAR THEM! You will jiggle, you will squeeze into outfits as if you're using a hula hoop. You are no more or less able to be loved than someone who slides right into theirs.
Your child will sponge up everything, the darkness and the light. Feel how you want to about yourself, but do not project it onto them. Quoting one of my most favorite articles on this subject.. "I didn't know my mom was fat and ugly until she told me she was."
And this might sound sooo silly.. but I still have a few lbs. to lose post baby, about 7 or so.. and pre-baby, I was VERY consumed with the number on the scale.. I've never been heavy and I'm not now, but I'm just not back to myself yet, you know? Anyways.. normally I would be super hard on myself and step on the scale only to be disappointed and feel negative about just a few lbs the rest of the day.. but lately, I have reflected on everything my body has done.. ie.. MADE A HUMAN! hehe And I've started to embrace the me NOW even as I continue to try and lose those last few lbs.. for instance, before I step on the scale now.. I tell myself (in my head..) it's fine whatever you are.. you're just fine the way you are.. it probably sounds so cheesy, but it helps me to remind myself to love the me now.. not just the me I want to look like.