So I'm Just Gonna Put This Out There...
I debated for a while whether or not to say anything about it on here because some stuff I feel weird talking about to people because it's either embarrassing or just too personal. But funny enough, as I was driving to work this morning, I was listening to a talk show about a guy who was going through the EXACT same situation as I am right now and I just really felt the need to get some mature opinions on this. I wouldn't trust anyone else but you ladies to give good advice on this.
It's not about kids, which is another reason I was hesitant to post it here but again, I think it would be a smart idea to talk to someone about it instead of just trying to figure this out on my own. So I'm coming to you ladies not as a mom right now, but a woman who needs some guidance lol.
After my husband and I split, I had told myself that I was going to boycott dating for a while so I could get my life together. But of course, life decided that wasn't going to happen lol. I met a guy I used to know from high school and we literally just clicked, instantly. We fell in love from the very start. It was like everything just fell in to place and all the broken pieces just came back together. But, since I had JUST ended my marriage, I wasn't the most trusting person in the world and long story short, I ended our relationship because I thought he was going to leave me, even though he wasn't and I've regretted it ever since.
Recently, we've sort of reconnected and things have been going "ok" but the problem is this: he's with someone else now. He knows I still love him, and he's told me he still loves me, but I know how conflicted this whole situation is because he's with someone else who's probably wonderful, but we both still have feelings for each other. We have only seen each other once since we've reconnected and I think we're both afraid to see each other more because all those feelings are still there and neither one of us want anything bad to happen. I want him to be happy, whether it's with her or me or whoever, but I can't help but feel like I should really tell him how much I love him. But my problem is, I'm afraid it'll either make things bad or I'll ruin his current relationship. I've stayed out of it this whole time, but a part of me really just wants to let him know that I really feel like he's the one for me. I have no idea what his relationship with her is like. They aren't engaged or anything, but I'm not sure if they've made plans to get married, or have plans for the future. After hearing the guy on the radio explain his situation, it really just made me feel that much more conflicted lol. A part of me just wants to force myself to leave it alone and forget him forever. But unfortunately, my brain and my heart just won't let me.
Sorry for this super long post. I just really needed to get this off my chest and see what you ladies thought :/
And thanks for reading/listening. Sometimes I feel awkward because honestly, my life as a mom is working out great lol. Not perfect, but for the most part I don't have any issues. It's all the other stuff that I face as a woman/single mother that tends to be difficult...
Just explain to him that you wish to remain friends (if you do) and that you hope your declaration won't change things too much if he does choose to remain in his current relationship. Let him know that you want him to be happy regardless of his decision. You could also touch on the fact that you felt it wasn't a good time to be in a relationship right after ending a marriage (it never really is) and that was a reason you ended things previously.
If you keep your feelings to yourself you may end up regretting it and playing that whole "what if" game in your head and that's never good.
Let him know you care.. and then walk away.. give him that space.. give his girlfriend that space.. .do NOT be his buddy and hear the things that are wrong in his relationship.. stay positive and focused and good.. if it's meant to be.. it will be.. but now it's his time.. he had to move on and he did.. he may come back or this ship has sailed..
I sound stronger than I am.. I too am divorced.. best friend of 18 years and I started dating, but his life was busy with a new show and his sister battling cancer.. there was no time for me.. as I needed him to be to me.. does that make sense? He was also fresh off a break up from a girl that did a number on him.. I didn't want him that way..
I told him I loved him and we stayed in touch of course.. I didn't disappear.. he was one of my best friends.. but.. his life had to play out and if there was a time for me to be IN it.. then it would happen..
A year later.. it did.. Like a Harry met Sally thing.. He had to finish his thing... he had to wrap up his heart from something else.. and in hind sight.. I wasn't as ready as I thought I was then either.. with two kids.. now.. it's lighter, easier.. we were there for each other without being THERE for each other.. make sense?
So, I have to say that as hard is it is.. as lonely is we can get and are willing to take scraps of a man shoe right now.. belongs to someone else.. BUT. I promise you.. I swear.. Let him go for now.. he will find his way back to you.. if its supposed to be that way.. Stay out of his current relationship.. he will only see you as a apart of it..
Keep me posted!!!!