My friend's postpartum depression.

Hi everyone!! Personally, I have not had any postpartum depression but my friend had. I'll tell you only what I saw. She was born twins (boys), a few hours after the birth one of the boys died. I think this was the reason for the start of postpartum depression. She said that she has no feelings for the second boy. Only her husband took care of this child, he came home, then went for a walk with the baby, then washed him, played with him, woke up in the night, so he was both mom and dad. The only thing she did is fed him, all the time she was lying on the bed and stared at one point. She did not communicate with anyone, did not respond to phone calls and looked awful. She had a very strong and long depression, so they even had to go to a psychologist.

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      I had your expected "baby blues", but thankfully it passed. My friend that lived in our building had a baby exactly 4 weeks after me... and was a totally different person.. She was normally up beat and happy and silly and we would sit afternoons pregnant and laugh our butts off about stupid things... That person was gone... I gave her the 6 weeks to see how it rolled around and she started to hang out again, but it was different.. She was so worried all the time, obsessed with her baby and his health and when she smiles, her eyes were flat...
      When I finally asked her straight out.. What's really going on? She admitted that sometimes she wish she never had a baby and that when the baby would cry, she would be so bummed out about it, she would turn the monitor off and hide under the pillows.. SHe took care of her son... did everything I was doing, but it was like she was doing the dishes... a chore..
      ANd the guilt she felt because of it was eating her away... Finally she said she would talk to her Doctor and she did and they put her on Zoloft... and something else.. took her a while and after a few months, she was more herself... We lost touch after I moved ... I tried to stay in touch and see her a lot, but she always canceled or couldn't... I gave up ... Her husband was a lot younger than she.. and I wasn't close with him to reach out... I hoped she was okay and the baby was ok...

      I saw her about a year later.. baby was fine, her husband looked the same... but she was different.. Like I said before the spark in her eyes was gone.. teh playfulness that made her so beautiful and fun to be around was gone.. Like her light left her... It was really really sad... I sent her an email later that week and said my usual jokey stuff and then mentioned to her that in a subtle way that She looks good and that I hope she feels good and that I missed her and to call or come over any time.
      I never heard from her again... Through out the next few years I would run into her at the park or market and it was the same.. I often wonder if she's on medication that makes her hazy or fighting demons... I can only hope she gets the help that she needs
      There was only so much I could do... We weren't that close... we were neighbor friends and I did what was appropriate and then she shut down... and it was weird..

      it happens... My Doctor said that if I have any weird thoughts to call him fast...
        8Theresa Gould
        How very sad.