The DEBBIE DOWNER Mom...

Okay, I don't want to be mean... And I certainly DON'T want anyone to lie to me.. But, there's this mom that I see all the time... our sons were in Kinder together and then 3rd... and so we are familiar faces to one another and have chatted many, many times... I would not consider her a friend, friend... But, she's more than an aquaintance.

Since the time I met her, she's always been a total downer... And when I first talked to her, I was hugely sympathetic to her complaints and issues... then.. slowly I started to realize that they never changed... or if they did change.. they just swapped to something else that was "wrong."... Before I sound like a total heartless A hole... What she's complaining about... well, I can't help but think.. really? Suck it up...

I would say, How are ya? And she would begin with a HUGE sigh... and say, "okay... I mean i wish my back didn't hurt so much and my husband's car isn't starting and my parents are in town and I have so much to do, " etc, etc... This is just an example...

I learned very quickly to stop asking and just be nice and say hello... but she would volunteer information to me... and would sort of see me at teh school or class functions and literally make a B line to me... Was I being too nice? Or has she done this to everyone else and I'm just the new one?

Then last year (3rd) grade... I was having a particularly hard day... For whatever reasons of my own, but my best friend had just had a bone marrow transplant which was the last big move to save her life and we had been going through this for years now... and it literally had just happened .. and I asked this mom how she was one morning and the big sigh began... and I lost it... I was nice, but hard... I am a really nice person, but if I'm crossed or my friends or crossed, I can be extremely harsh.... SO... her sigh was coming... and i stopped her and I said, "you know what? I'm so sorry... I know there are things you have going on, but I've got my best friend fighting literally for her life at this moment, so I'm afraid I may not be the best person to vent to today as anything you say will sound petty to me and so I hope you're alright but I just... can't"...

And she stopped and asked vapid questions about my friend, that I answered hardly... because it's private and she's not behind my curtain..and she tried to be nice, ...

long story short... She sort of backed way off after that... as she should have.. I was still very nice and warm and waved and smiled. But time passed and we were on opposite sides of the school and never really found ourselves next to one another.. UNTIL TODAY!!! A YEAR LATER almost.... and we found ourselves waling the same sidewalk to the gate and I said, "hi how are you?" and I KID you not... the sigh happened... THE SIGH... folowed with a "well... we moved and my knee is ..."

I tuned out.. I'm not a higher than tho type where anything is material or petty when compared to my friends fight.. I KNOW it's all relative... I get it... I don't judge... and I whine too... lol.. a lot! and I have it GOOD!!!

But, I can't do it again... I can't... I can't even pretend to care this time...

01
    08/22/13
    Comment deleted
    08/22/13
    LOL.. it just comes out... "good.. how're you?" - although today it had been a year since I've asked her that... I think I was "testing"... and failed... But I gotta tell you.. I tried all those alternatives way back when... and she would find a way.. lol

    "nice weather!!"
    "I guess... ucchhh. if you like HOT"

    "Nice to see you again"
    "I saw you the other day but I couldnt catch up because my CORNS on my feet"

    I'm tellin ya... I'm no victim here... she is a predator of negativity.. :)
    2
    08/25/13
    My friend and I had a friend like this.. we got soo sick of it. After awhile, we "one up'ed her" for fun.. until we think she finally got it.. ie.. "How are you doing" "Oh gosh.. I just moved and my knee.. blah blah" "Oh no way, I JUST moved too and my knee, gosh has been giving me such pain I have to have it checked it out.." Maybe she will get it! haha I know a handful of people who LOVE the attention of having problems, issues.. makes them feel like people have an interest.. rather twisted if you ask me! :)
    0
      08/23/13
      8Theresa Gould
      That's tough. Have to wonder with you how many others she does this to or if you are the "chosen one"? I wonder if she's lonely? I don't know why I thought of that but just wondered if she has anyone she talks to and you probably showed genuine interest and she just dumped. Who knows though....avoiding or ignoring seems to be the way to go.
      0
      About Jessica
      Born: Novato, California
      Current: Sherman Oaks, California
      Birth: May 28
      On Moms.com since: Aug 5, 2013
      We live in Los Angeles, CA. I'm a writer, comedian, actor and single mom of two. Parenting is hard. I try to keep a sense of humor about it all and find the find the funny... in what is most likely NOT funny (i.e. boogers, meltdowns, homework, etc.).