Standards Too High?

I've been told by many people, including my own parents, that I have really high standards when it comes to looking for a partner. I guess the reason I bring this up is because there is a man who has been talking to me recently and he's a year younger than me, which isn't that big of a deal. But he's definitely still in that "teenage" mindset. Granted, he's been married before like I have and we share those similarities, but every now and then he'll say something that makes me cringe lol.

So I guess my question is this: for all of you who are married or have a SO, did you have standards? I feel like my mom just wants me to settle down with any man who seems like a legit option lol but I feel like that's just wrong. I like men who have their stuff together in life. I don't want to date someone who has no idea what they are doing and is completely lost in life lol. Am I wrong for feeling this way? I know my mom wants me to settle down and have a "real" family, but I can't picture myself finding someone and just marrying them just because it's the "right thing to do" lol.

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    05/15/14
    I think that if you don't have standards then you will settle for anything. And love should not be about settling. But you also cannot set your standards so high that no one is good enough. People are human and make mistakes and learn as they grow. You are also only 23 so you have to be realistic about that age group, I would venture to say many 23 year old men don't really know for certain where they are going in life. many have likely not been married or had kids. I don't think finding the right person can be about a list you check off of things that you want in a person. but you shouldn't be settling just for any old person.
    1
      05/15/14
      I didn't, really, have any standards. I wasn't looking for a partner, I didn't even want friends. Trevor kind of just appeared out of nowhere...but he was very nice, persistent int trying to be my friend and getting me to open up, charming, and he wanted to listen to me. He was smart, and funny, and handsome. Not drop dead gorgeous, but I liked the way he looked, even though he was chubby at the time and he had a head of wild curls (I love the curls, though...sad that military hair cuts are so plain). I chose him over a very handsome, polite and nice blonde guy who had asked me out to the same dance that Trevor did.

      If I for some reason was on the lookout for someone, now, though? I dunno...Maybe someone reasonably smart with common sense, who's willing to listen and can make me laugh. I wouldn't mind if they were handsome, but looks are less important than personality. But yeah, don't look for the impossible. There's nothing wrong with having a good opinion of yourself and thinking you deserve better, but don't just turn away from someone if they don't quite meet everything you want. You don't have to settle, but I think keeping an open mind is important.
      0
        05/15/14
        I had VERY high standards. I knew what I wanted and I wasn't going to settle...that being said I spent a long time alone. I never even went on a date until I was 32! I just never found anyone I thought they were what I was looking for (the major things being someone kind and strong...a hard combo to find). I went on a few more dates after that first one. After getting my heart broken a few times because I thought I was being too picky, so I went out with men I normally wouldn't have, I upped my standards again and FINALLY found my husband...he is younger but he is also perfect! At least for me. I couldn't imagine him any better or different. We have been together for almost 3 years now. And he was worth every lonely day and night I spent waiting for him. I think back to all the wrong people I dated and am so thankful I didn't settle just so I wouldn't be alone. I can't imagine life without him. Settling is just that...settling for second best. It might not be an issue now but you will always think or know that you could have done better and eventually it will cause problems in the relationship. Never, ever lower your standards or settle! :-)
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          05/15/14
          I think a lot of moms feel that way. That they wish we'd just settle down already. I know my mom just wants us to be married so bad.

          During my single days, right when I met Ed, I partied way too much and it was honestly only by the grace of God that I landed a great guy with no baggage instead of the 22 year old idiot from the bar that worked at McDonalds.

          Crisis averted. My standards were way higher before I hit the bar in those days..haha
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          About Dale Polley
          Born: Indianapolis, Indiana
          Current: Fortville, Indiana
          Birth: January 04
          On Moms.com since: Apr 8, 2014
          I'm a 23 year old single mother living in Fortville, IN. I work in Indianapolis. I have a wonderful 3 year old daughter, Clara. Check out my facebook page at https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100005722937289 :-)