Over-protective, easy-going, other...
When it comes to being at home, I'm generally pretty easy-going. Nina's just a baby right now, so it's not like she can actually follow rules. She understands what "No" means , so that usually solves any problems like when she gets into things. When we're out and about, I'm pretty darn protective. I don't let strangers touch her, I watch her like a hawk to make sure she doesn't get into anything bad or something bad isn't coming for her. I'm usually very good at being able to keep an eye on everything near me while still looking for whatever I'm trying to find.
When she's older? I'll expect her to be respectful, honest, and treat others appropriately, or to follow any rules we've established by then. That, of course, means I have to act in a way worthy of her respect. I have never liked the way many parents expect to be respected purely because they are the parent.
So I guess I'm a mixture. If I make a rule, I expect it to be followed, and not only while inside the house. You don't just toss common courtesy to the wind the moment you step outside or turn on the computer. You never leave common sense behind. Treat others not only the way you want to be treated, but they way they deserve to be treated. Etc...For me, it's "Follow the Rules/Behave yourself, and we'll get along just fine."
I like the way you describe your parenting future. I hope to be that way too, especially the parts about acting to earn respect.