Not giving into neediness...
So I read this article:
This woman has adopted twins, a boy and a girl. They are 10 yrs old now and she describes the boy as overly needy to the point of selfishness. He's constantly asking for new activities and games to play with the parents. If they say no, there's not time for that, he melts down. They're exhausted and feel like his sister is getting shut out. She worries it has something to do with the fact that they were 40yrs old when she adopted them.
The advice columnist basically said it has nothing to do with her age and they need to just stop planning things for him. Once whatever planned activities are done for the day he needs to be responsible for entertaining himself. Yes, he'll throw a fit. But if they stay strong he'll learn to make his own plans.
I agree with the columnist. I feel like sometimes we just have to let our kids be upset in order for them to grow. It's uncomfortable for a few days but they'll get used to the new expectations and it'll be all over. It will continue their whole lives. From sleep training and learning to use the potty, to tackling college classes and getting their first real job. Change is hard for kids, but that doesn't mean we should keep everything the same forever. they'd never learn
What do you think about having to implement some "tough love" as a parent?
Or the parents could invite neighborhood kids and their families over for a meet and greet. Maybe getting him acquainted with other kids would help him get outside, play, and learn to use his imagination.
Tough love is sometimes called for, but guiding your children in the right path and giving them the tools they need for success are also necessary. Just throwing them out there to figure it out for themselves, while an effective last resort, shouldn't be the first go-to.
But that's selfish of ME. My boy does need to learn to be on his own without my watchful eye. So when the time comes, I think it's me that will have to learn how to go find something else to do.