Weird feelings towards MIL

I don't know why I feel this way. I really don't. My MIL is a very nice woman who has always been great to me, but I feel really weird when she holds Avery.

I don't get that way when other people hold her. In fact I usually get excited that Avery is being social with people since she's usually so afraid of strangers. But when my MIL holds Avery or even just plays with her it's like there are tiny alarms sounding in my head. I try to ignore it. She loves Avery and is very good with her, so why does it bug me so much? I feel like I'm holding my breath the whole time she plays with her...

Are my mommy instincts going haywire or what? Have any of you felt this way towards a specific person?

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    05/19/14
    Comment deleted
      05/19/14
      I don't think we should ever try to turn off or divert our instincts, but I can understand how you would feel bad about this. Especially if she's a nice person! My mom doesn't have a relationship with my brothers so she never sees her other grandkids. This puts me in a weird spot and sometimes I also feel like I have to stand a little closer when she's watching him. Just because it's been a very long time since she's had to watch a baby.

      Hopefully you can figure out what the issue is!
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        05/19/14
        I had the same feelings about mine in the beginning. She is nice, but the type to try to take over if you let her. It bugs me when she shares all my baby pictures on her facebook and shows him off like he is hers. And when I was pregnant she was so pushy about every single decision we made concerning the baby. My hesitation with her holding the baby is because I didn't want her getting too attached and trying to take over with him when I was around. She is nice and loves my son, but takes it way too far. (She is the crazy lady that wanted to be in the room when I delivered and then wanted to watch me breastfeed. She creeps me out!)
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        05/19/14
        That sounds close to how I'm feeling. She's not as crazy as your MIL, but I do feel like she acts like Avery is hers. They live about an an hour and a half away from us but while I was pregnant they kept acting like Avery was going to be with them all the time. She practically built a nursery at their house and we had to convince them not to spend $300+ on a crib for their house. She's constantly buying clothes and things for Avery and hinting that we don't go visit them enough. We see them at least once or twice a month but we don't go to their house unless we can stay the weekend. 3 hours round trip with a baby just to visit for an hour is too much. We stay for a weekend every 6 months or so, but it's a big undertaking. I don't think we could do it much more often.

        Avery isn't her daughter, she's her GRAND daughter. I guess I don't want her taking over either.
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          05/19/14
          Melissa Middleton
          Yes, one of my sister in laws. She irritates me though, and I am not easily annoyed. She is over bearing, controlling, nosy, rude, hard-hearted, and insists she is always right, even when proven wrong. She will tell my hubby on me, too, when I don't listen to her. I think she watches every move I make, when she can, because we've caught her a few times. She doesn't want anything to do with my son anymore because I won't do everything "her" way. She also lives next door. :(

          I feel bad for stating all those about her, but.....they are true. I am not sure what is causing you to feel this way, but we have "Mommy instincts" for a reason. However, I hope this is just a phase or something you are going through. It isn't jealousy, is it? Being jealous of her spending time with your daughter...taking that time away from you?
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          05/20/14
          Melissa Middleton
          That is how my SIL is. She thinks she knows all about my son, when she is barely with him. I feel like my SIL steps on my toes when she does this, as if I don't know my own son.
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          About Taylor
          Current: Chanhassen, Minnesota
          Birth: July 26
          On Moms.com since: Dec 18, 2013
          I'm the proud mama of my daughter Avery, born on June 6, 2013. I'm 26 years old, I work from home as a graphic designer, I will be testing for my 5th degree black belt in Tae Kwon Do in 2015. My husband, Derek, and I have been happily married for 3 years.