After birth attraction..

After you gave birth, did your significant other loose any sort of attraction towards you? I guess what I am trying to ask is, did your significant other still find you attractive and want to be intimate with you? Or did they think that after giving birth your body was not the same and they were not as attracted to you as you once were?

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    05/19/14
    I'm no longer in a relationship with her father, but I never had any issues. I think the personality and strength I gained from having a child made me more "attractive". Not because my body got more sexy, but because my personality became sexier. In other words, I didn't let any physical changes to my body affect my attitude or my behavior. And I've had a couple boyfriends after I had a child and honestly, neither of them had a problem with my belly bulge lol. Because I made it known from the very beginning that I wasn't going to let my physical appearance define who I was.
    1
    05/19/14
    I wasn't always confident. It was a learning process for me. One day I just looked in the mirror and thought, "I'm sick of living my life this way." I was tired of thinking so negatively of myself. So literally overnight, I told myself no more and that I was going to be fully myself, extra weight and all. I laughed more, joked more, opened up more and enjoyed my life more. My physical appearance was not going to stop me from being beautiful inside and out. And I've been happier ever since! But nobody, not even your SO, has a right to tell you to look better for them. You should want to look better for yourself and unless he looks like Johnny Depp, he has no right to talk. Be proud of yourself for carrying a baby to term and bringing a life into this world. Without you and your body, he wouldn't have that baby. Never, ever, EVER let someone make you feel bad about your body after all that you have done to bring a baby into this world. You are wonderful no matter what your body looks like!
    1
      05/19/14
      I think this is a normal thing that women go through. Unfortunately I have friends whose SO's say really stupid things like "how long does it take for this or that to go back to normal". It infuriates me, but I really do believe those men are the bad egg exceptions, and not the rule.

      I think a lot of it comes from our own brains. I think we think we're a lot worse than we really are and assume our guys feel the same way. My bf is so quiet by nature so I'm always thinking that he's thinking the worst, when really he's probably just thinking about the car or something.

      I think communication right now is critical. That if you feel like you're not at your best, you should say so. If he feels differently and needs some time, he should have that. I think that sometimes women get so wrapped up in what we've just been through that we don't allow our SO's to feel some different emotions, too.
      0
        05/19/14
        I thought it was just me, but my SO finally said something to me, and it gets really upsetting. He and I have not been intimate since the end of last year I think. It has been hard for me because I felt like no matter what I did or tried to do it was never enough for him. I went on an intense diet and lost over 15 lbs in almost 3-4 weeks, but still to no avail with my SO. Since then, I try to take care of myself, but I am a stress eater, and I feel like no matter what I will not be what he wants me to be. My self esteem has really dropped because of this and I have become more and more jealous of his female co-workers. He tells me not to worry about them, but I can't help it. After an experience a about a month ago I really feel like I am not what he wants and I don't know what else to do to make him want me. Sorry, I just realized I went on a rant here.
        0
          05/19/14
          Don't be sorry. And also. You first have to realize that no matter what YOU do, it will not affect HIS opinion. I know I don't hold the popular vote here.. I try to be the woman that Ed wants to come home to. Of course I feel like a fatty all the time. I never get the chance to take a shower, how attractive is that? But does he want to come home and hear about it? Of course not. He does. Sure, he listens to me vent about some stuff, but after a long day at work it's not his responsibility to come home and pat my head and tell me that yes, even though my hair has been in a bun for a week, lord only knows what I smell like, and that all my clothes have spit up on them but I was doing the boy's laundry first.. yes, he is attracted and wants to take me to bed right now.

          I guess it's just all in the way we look at it... But you shouldn't kill yourself so that he feels better. If you aren't what he wants, nothing you do can make it different. Be there for your boy, be there for yourself.
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          About Michelle Goldstein
          Born: Los Angeles, California
          Current: Los Angeles, California
          Birth: December 08
          On Moms.com since: Apr 16, 2014
          I am a mom to a beautiful boy named Hunter as well as a "step" mom to my boyfriends 10 year old daughter. I work full time, while my boyfriend is a stay-at-home dad for my son. I love cooking and being a mom and spending time with my family.