Depressed

It's not really baby-related, but I need somewhere to just vent a little bit, if you ladies don't mind.

My husband's Leave period just ended, and he's started work here at his new base. So far, we have no news on when/if he'll be flown out to his ship, but they told him to be prepared at all times, just in case. He could literally be told tomorrow that he'd be flown out tomorrow night. There are a few other new sailors waiting for word on the same ship, but they haven't been here long at all, either, and one of his old boot camp friends left earlier tonight to meet the same fleet my husband's assigned to...so it could be any time. Any time at all, be it tomorrow night or months from now. I hate not knowing. I loathe every day that I worry about him coming home and saying "Today's the day" or "Tomorrow" or something similar. I want to know, but I don't want to know!

This whole past year has been so stressful, with the unexpected baby and adjusting to that, and then my husband leaving only a month after her birth for the navy, and these two weeks of Leave have been our first real time to just relax and be together (apart from the move here, that wasn't relaxing at ALL) in a year. We had just settled into a routine in our new apartment, but now its been changed again. Nina still goes to bed at 9-9:30, and my husband goes to bed at roughly the same time, since he has to get up early and beat traffic onto the base...I used to love my alone time at night, but now I'm not so sure. I'm not ready to sleep yet, but I don't know what to do with that free time anymore. I don't want him to have to go for another half a year or maybe more, with Facebook our only potential method of communication other than letters. I've missed him so much, and I love Nina, I wouldn't change anything about having her, but sometimes I miss how it was before. Everything was so much easier, and just...hadn't been dumped into the "adult world" yet.

Everyone in this area is really friendly so far, and helpful (we had an emergency today which required seeking help and relying on other people/strangers, and they all pulled through and stopped what they were doing to help us and get the fire station to us lol...), but I don't have any friends here. The few friends I have are back in Missouri, or have moved with their own military husbands or bases. I'm not...really good at making friends. I'm too shy/awkward. My husband insists that I could make friends easily, that I'm "awkward in a personable way" which makes people respond well, but that doesn't help me feel comfortable around new people!

I just...keep hoping he won't get sent away for as long as possible, lol, even though I know it'll probably be soon. Sorry for the long post >.<

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About Morgan
Current: Norfolk, Virginia
Birth: July 17
On Moms.com since: Apr 1, 2014
I'm a SAHM and a Navy Wife. My little family is my life, and I enjoy reading and online gaming. I like to help out where I can, and I just want to live life happily.