Feeling like a major failure

I joined with the hope of finding some support for dealing with the terrible twos. I'm a FTM, super sensitive and super hard on myself. I'm trying to get better but with the way the last two mornings have gone, if I was literally beating myself up, I'd be covered head-to-toe with bruises.

I just started reading "The Happiest Toddler on the Block" with the hope of getting some guidance for me and DH on handling DS's tantrums. He apparently falls into the "spirited" personality group which sounds great for when he's older but a huge issue now as a toddler. He's VERY physical when he has his tantrums and it's very difficult to work through. I am with him the most and while I feel like I can earn a gold medal for my patience, these days my temper keeps getting the better of me...he keeps getting the better of me. I feel like we're stuck in the parenthood version of the movie "Groundhog Day". Daycare drop offs are the worst and I feel like he's their problem child. Everything we've tried (timeout, taking away) just ticks him off more and makes a bad situation even worse. I just feel lost. :(

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    05/21/14
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      05/21/14
      amanda
      I feel you sweetie. I'm going through the same thing. And up until the terrible twos hit I was a very patient mom. Not I feel like a raging lunatic and I'm afraid that my kids will view me as a monster. I love them so much but sometimes its more than I can handle. And I am a stay at home mom so I can't escape it. My fiance works long days and usually doesn't get home until after the kids go to bed or right around bed time. Its frustrating because I have no one to take over because by the time he gets home he's exhausted also. And then we have to deal with a baby that gets up at night. I feel like there should be a padded cell somewhere reserved for me. I have 3 under 3. And I feel the same way. Nothing we have tried to handle it seems to be making any difference.
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        05/21/14
        Alysia I'm so sorry it's been so rough on you. Personally I only have a 5 month old so I haven't had to deal with this type of thing yet. But I know there are so many people on this site with children the same age as yours and can give you some great advice.

        Please don't equate these things as you being a bad parent. The fact that your taking it so hard proves that you care and want to do what's best. Hugs and good luck.
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          05/21/14
          8Theresa Gould
          What happens if you ignore him? Often spirited children are energized by the reaction we give them. I know it's hard to ignore a tantrum but I wonder what would happen if you did?
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            05/21/14
            amanda
            That's a good thought. I think that might be my problem. She's not always getting my attention when I need to get things done so she does things she knows she's not supposed to do so she with get in trouble. To them attention is attention even if its not the good kind. :/
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              05/21/14
              We have definitely tried ignoring him and while he does still go on a bit, it usually resolves itself. This tactic is usually used in the evening g or weekends (but not always). The weekday mornings are the toughest because I have an hour and a half commute and don't have time to stand around and wait 20 mins for his tantrum to finish. Also, my concern with ignoring is that I don't think that is showing him anything other than that we can ignore him. Shouldn't there be a lesson there?
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              About Alysia
              Current: Blackwood, New Jersey
              Birth: April 30
              On Moms.com since: Jan 7, 2014