How to Deal With "Baby Mama" Drama
I've only ever been in this situation once. First thing's first: don't get caught up in it. I don't like the term "baby mama", it's rude and inappropriate. She's the child's mother and whether you like her or not, she at least deserves enough respect to have her name used or just say, "the child's mother". So I'm speaking for the woman dating a man with a child. You more than likely don't have any kids and even if you do, you're dating a guy with a child or children. My primary advice would be this: whatever happens between him and his child's mother, it needs to stay between them. Even if she doesn't like you, and vice versa, make sure that he is doing his job by maintaining a healthy relationship with his ex for the sake of his children. It's not up to you. You might want to take control of the situation because you don't like her or don't want her part of his life anymore, but the fact remains that she will. I had a friend who doesn't have any children of her own but is dating a guy who has an infant with another girl. She immediately starting taking care of the child as her own and saying the child is her step-daughter, even though they aren't married. They aren't even engaged. There's nothing wrong with loving the child. But even if you are in a committed relationship with the guy, his children will never technically be yours. You can love them like your own, but always understand that they are not and whatever conclusions he and his ex come to about their children together, you need to abide by those. More importantly, whatever happens, support his relationship with his ex if not for anything else but his children. Help them learn to get along if they don't already. I know that seems strange because you don't want them to have an "intimate" relationship but they do need a relationship whether you like it or not. It's much better all around for everyone if everyone gets along and is on the same page. And if in the beginning of the relationship people are not getting along, then it is your job to get it to be the way. You start with talking to the guy about his ex and help him develop a more positive outlook on his relationship with his ex. Then support him in actively trying to change his current relationship with her and make it a more positive one.