off my chest

I hate doing this but i just needed someone to tell this to, i feel like i have been all alone save for my husband and he is an amazing man, but sometimes you need someone other than your SO to talk to. I have a friend who had always been my best friend, until now, we still talk but she has become one of those people that are so self focused they forget anyone else exists, if she has always been like that and im just now seeing it or she changed and is now like that but wasnt always i have no idea, because before i met my husband it was alwyas me and her, but now she doesnt even listen to what i say unless i say my sons name then she will listen but i can talk to her about anything and when she does respond she comments on what she had been talking about not anything i said or if she does its a short one or two word answer than back to what she wants to talk about, it's like she doesnt even care about me, but i dont want to take my son from her because i know he loves her and she adores him but i hate being around her now and dont even want to talk to her, like i said to my husband how do you break up with your best friend? But then if i do that even though she doesnt listen to me she is someone other than SO, if i stop hanging out with her i will have no one else to talk to.... I try going to things that have other moms like books and babies at the library but they all aready seem to know eachother and unfortunatly i am the person that if you dont talk to me first i wont say anything because i just have a constant (irrational) fear of talking to new people. I just cant even if i prep talk myself i cant. Am i destend to be alone! :'(

00
    05/27/14
    Beth
    Does your friend have a child? I find my friends that don't have children are still very self centered. It's not something I ever noticed before, but once I had children and shifted my focus 100% onto my children and off myself I started hearing it in their conversations and the decisions they make and it bugs me. I had some very similar issues to those you seem to be having with your friend and I honestly think it has everything to do with the changes we go through mentally when we become moms. Give your friend some space and time. You don't have to tell her you are breaking up with her, but you can make less of an effort to get in touch with her - let her do the work some. I would bet that once she has children of her own you two will have much more in common again. Until then, just try to let her selfishness roll off your back. Know that it isn't her doing it on purpose, and that chances are you were just as bad yourself and never realized it ;)
    0
      05/27/14
      Aw hon. So many of us can relate to this. Please reach out to us here, you are not alone. But I can understand the importance of having someone there in real life. The only friends I have up here have no kids and I just can't relate to the people I know that do. It gets really tough and I completely understand about having someone aside from the SO to talk to. I'm praying for you to have the confidence and strength to be able to approach some mamas and forge some new friendships. Good luck to you!
      0
        05/27/14
        8Theresa Gould
        I agree with the others. Friendships shift and that doesn't always mean the end of them because sometimes you circle back to each other. For now, know you are not alone because you have us here at Moms.com and we are pretty good substitutions until you meet new in-person friends. Hang in there, this is just a life curve or adjustment.
        0
        About Tera
        Current: Kalispell, Montana
        Birth: March 23
        On Moms.com since: Mar 7, 2014
        My husband and I have two children, I am currently a stay at home mom during the day, working mom at night, and college student in between.