feeling stressed...

any mom ever feel like they are just constantly raising their voice at their kids????

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    05/28/14
    Yep! Some days are worse than others. You know what has helped me, though?

    On the really bad days, the ones where I feel like I'm about to bust, I turn on some music and we have a dance party. No whining, no one sits out, everyone joins in and we dance until we feel better!

    I had no idea the effect it had on my kids until my daughter's preschool teacher pulled me aside one day. She said Evie had been having a rough morning (someone stepped on her foot, she spilled paint on herself, nothing was going right for her) and she asked her teacher to "please turn on the music so I can shake it off!" And she did.

    (((hugs))) you'll get through it!
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      05/28/14
      amanda
      Always.. You are not alone!!... I feel like the worst mom ever and like all I do is yell at my kids. Its an awful feeling. I don't want my kids to view me as a monster. Unfortunately that's how my mom always dealt with things when we were kids so that's all I know parenting wise. I'm trying to find another way as a mom. Obviously its not working for me.
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      05/28/14
      thats exactly how I feel. I don't want my daughter to think I am a mean mommy or my biggest fear is that she wont love me and she will want to be around other people and not me. I have a very hard time with her listening to me, especially at work since I am a nanny.

      Then when I am done yelling at her I go in the other room and cry because I feel so bad and guilty and that I am not good enough a mom for her. I hate feeling like this constantly and Ive tried so many things.... AHHH lol
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      amanda
      I feel the same way. Its a terrible feeling. And I am trying to work on it. I feel like its like any other bad habit or problem you have in your life you need to change. It takes time and baby steps to get there. You're not going to be a new calm and level headed mom over night just because you realize what you are doing isn't the right way to deal with things and isn't working (which I wish is how it would happen) but if you try to handle at least one situation a day different than you normally would I feel like it will be easier to work your way to communicating better. Its a bad cycle. My mom dealt with us that way when we were little and I remember being afraid of her and how it felt to be in that situation so it makes me really sad to imagine that's how my daughter feels when I lose it. My mom never realized that she made a huge mistake as a mom parenting that way until I had my kids and she sat down and apologized for always yelling at me my whole life instead of handling things different. Even though we have a better relationship now than when I was younger, I feel like in this aspect its too little too late. :( On top of that I am battling bipolar depression (which I know from my signs that my mom also had it growing up but never discussed it) and anxiety so I am all around trying to get better for myself and my kids. But I won't give up hope that I will get past this and be a better Mommy and person.
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      05/28/14
      Yes. When I try talking to family or my fiance about it, they all say, she's so sweet. and I'm like yeah when she is with you haha. She doesn't act the way she does with me with anyone else and that's what makes me ear she wont love me or something. God I am so happy I found someone to talk to who pretty much is dealing with the exact same thing. Even thought that thing isn't quite a happy thing lol. To me, it is like no one understands how I feel or what I am going through. I get horrible anxiety as well and it really kicks it at night when I go to sleep because that is when I start thinking about everything and go into a panic.
      1
      05/28/14
      amanda
      I feel the same way. Everybody minimizes everything. Like where is the line of okay shes just a kid and okay shes being bad. Like for a while she was hitting her sister and biting her and nothing we did seemed to have any effect on her. And everybody was like oh that's what every kid goes through blah blah blah. But her sister could be screaming and crying and she would be sitting on top of her and it didn't phase her any that she was hurting her. And I kept thinking like when do I draw the line? When she does something that potentially puts her in the hospital or maybe worse. Not that she would do that on purpose but still. I didn't want things to get to that point. And everyone else was like oh its fine don't worry about it... WTH? Or I put a latch on the outside of her door for when she goes to bed because she will wander the house at night and I'm worried she will get hurt or wander out the front door (which she knows how to unlock and open) and I wont here her or know until morning. And everyone told me it was mean to lock her in her room. Helloooo I want to know she is safe not torture her. And I agree I love this site! There are so many moms to connect with and make you feel like you are not alone in this world.
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      05/28/14
      amanda
      Lol I feel like it. We have a hannah montana child lol. Mine does the same thing. She will wake up screaming in the middle of the night but wont tell us whats wrong. She'll scream and cry for like 5+/- and then she's back to normal.
      0
        05/28/14
        Yep.
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        About Devan
        Current: Clifton Park, New York
        Birth: October 18
        On Moms.com since: May 28, 2014
        a mother of one 4 year old daughter, Sophia. Just joined moms hoping to have some other moms out there help me out when I am feeling stressed or overwhelmed. (a little embarrassing) I a full time nanny and enjoy the outdoors and DIY projects!!!!