Article: The First Time I Laughed After the Death of My Daughter

I haven't lost an older child, but I've had six miscarriages. The lastest being 18 weeks and the most recent last June at 14 weeks. Many of mine were at the 11-14 week mark for some reason. My 18 week loss was the most difficult and I lost myself in grief for a long time. I think for a long time I didn't know how to be happy amidst my grief. I know we all grieve differently, but it seemed like a long road for me. I cannot even remember how long it took me to laugh. I think it was my babies who made me laugh.

The woman in this article lost her daughter to cancer, I believe. She talks about "shades of gray", stages of grief and the fact we are never really quite the same after the loss of a child.

It's been almost 10 years since I lost Matthew and I am just starting to feel more like my old self. It took a long time.

Have you ever been lost in grief? Was it hard to laugh the first time?

http://www.mothering.com/community/a/the-first-ti…

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8Theresa GouldChicago, Illinois
    05/28/14
    I have never lost a child or a pregnancy, that has to be the hardest thing to go through.

    I grieved after I got divorced. I grieved after the loss of each of my grand parents. As far as laughing though, I don't think i stopped doing that, I might have really lost myself to the grief if I hadn't tried to deal with my sadness with some humor. Understandably that would be almost impossible with the loss of a child though.
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    05/29/14
    8Theresa Gould
    I'm sorry for your loss, LeAnn.
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      05/28/14
      I was told by doctors a few years back the chance of me ever having children would be slim to none.. I've had 2 miscarriages, but early on... now, 10 years later, I have 2 beautiful children.. I couldn't cope if I lost either of my kids.. i know most people say you eventually find a way, but I seriously think I would have to be committed... I feel terribly for those who have lost a child <3
      1
        05/29/14
        I lost my last child. He was stillborn. The doctor said he died about 10 minutes before birth. I've miscarried before, and it didn't bother me, but holding a perfect but not living baby in my arms was tragic. Sorry to be such a downer.
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        05/29/14
        8Theresa Gould
        I'm sorry for your loss Maria. We held Matthew and Michael but neither of them filled our arms being 18 weeks and 14 weeks into my pregnancy. My arms ached for weeks after I lost Matthew.
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        About Theresa Gould
        Current: Chicago, Illinois
        Birth: August 10
        On Moms.com since: Aug 5, 2013
        ***Baby Team Leader Moms.com*** I have been married for over 20 years. My husband and I have eight children ages 18 down to 4 years old. We use to live in Chicago but now live in Canada. I own www.FaithandFamilyReviews.com.