this boy I watch is 9 years old and is constantly instigating things with my 4 year old daughter. It gets very stressful and idk what to do. All i hear everyday is complaining and fighting, starting to get old. any thoughts?

    yupp tried it. I've been with this family for 2 year. It never stops. I can't even explain how frustrating it is. He has ADHD and he blames everything on that, so does his parents. There have been times when he has physically hurt her and says it was because my daughter started it. Excuse me no. He is nine years old, should know better than to put his hands on a 4 year old.
      Don't be sorry! Venting is what we're here for :)

      What sort of consequences do you give him when he puts hands on her?

      The ADHD kids I've worked with usually act out when they're bored and your daughter might just be an easy target. Do you think he's getting enough stimulus during the day? Or maybe it's the opposite problem. Is he over stimulated and needs some structured quiet time by himself after school?
        i think he gets too stimulated. He is great in the morning but it is almost like he purposely acts out. The other issue is, is he has a "fear" of being alone. so punishing him is complicated because i send him to his room. He gets very angry also when I call him out on his behavior and starts lashing out at me.

        I understand a 4 year old can be annoying and I am not saying my daughter has not started things with him before, but it is how he reacts to it, When I try speaking to his parents about it, they don't seem to do much and say its because of the ADHD. Which i think in some ways he should still be punished ya know?
        About Devan
        Current: Clifton Park, New York
        Birth: October 18
        On since: May 28, 2014
        a mother of one 4 year old daughter, Sophia. Just joined moms hoping to have some other moms out there help me out when I am feeling stressed or overwhelmed. (a little embarrassing) I a full time nanny and enjoy the outdoors and DIY projects!!!!