"It's your responsibility"

Years ago when I worked for a group of radio stations, I always listened to Dr. Laura - I know, people either love her or hate her -. Of all of the shows I listened to there is one call that sticks with me to this day.

A woman had called in that had a 1 year old child and worked part time from home. Her issue was that her husband would get upset that she never wanted sex anymore. He wasn't mean about it. He didn't stray from the relationship because of it. But he had talked to her (politely, as even she said) about the fact that a month was too long to go with out it an entire year after their child was born. This was not a question of libido. She desired sex and she desired her husband but at the end of the day was just too tired to be intimate with him.

I think we can all relate to the caller on some level. The next part is what I want your opinion about. Dr. Laura's response was that it was her duty to make sure she was not so tired at the end of the day that she could not fulfill that part of her relationship. That, being a mother was hard. That, being a wife is hard. That, working from home is hard. But it doesn't mean we're allowed to turn our backs on any one part of any of those things.

I'm lucky enough to be with a man that understands when I'm too tired and says nothing about it. But I have to say that I agree with Dr. Laura here. Obviously there are lines, if men get upset after 2 days, more conversation needs to be had. But a month? I think men have a right to be upset about that, and I think it's true that if we're so worn out at the end of the day that we aren't fulfilling those needs.. for an entire month at a time... we need to delegate a bit. But that's just my opinion. I'd love to hear yours!

    I do also agree with her. Being intimate with your partner is important. Feeling wanted is important.

    It's also an incredible, free stress reliever! Having done the work at home thing with two small kids, I understand how she feels! Oh, goodness, I know it well! The big thing is to implement work hours, and stop working at the end of those hours. Make time for your family, put date nights on your calendar if it will help. But for you, for your relationship, for your sanity, don't put any one thing as more important than the other. Relationships need work, too.
    About Alissa
    Current: Chinook, Montana
    Birth: September 17
    On Moms.com since: Jan 30, 2014
    *Site Hostess* I am a first time mom living in North Central Montana. I have a fiance, the most gorgeous baby boy, and a goofball dog named Lexi to fill up my plate :)