Article: To The Lady Ashamed of Being Pregnant with Her Fourth

I read this article last night and could soooo relate to how this woman felt when she was questioned while she was pregnant with her fourth. The expectant mama, like many of us, had received an array of responses to her pregnancy. The author of the article made me laugh with HER responses!

If only more were like the author of the article and blessed pregnant women instead of shaming them for desiring children, what an improvement that would be!

Have you ever been "shamed" for having more than the 1-2 children that is the so-called "norm"? Or have you ever been the one to put your foot in your mouth when talking to an expectant mama? Thoughts on the article?

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/sylvia-bass/to-the-…

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8Theresa GouldChicago, Illinois
    06/06/14
    I've been in the position where I put my foot in my mouth about my cousin being pregnant with her forth. On one end, I know I should mind my own business, but at the other... she has complained SO MUCH and fished for sympathy when having her three that when she announced she's pregnant with her forth I wondered why she wasn't more careful. I'm also one of the de facto babysitters, too, which adds to the frustration, but that's more my issue with setting boundaries as well...

    That is in my personal life, but I would never judge a stranger for how many children they have. There are plenty of supermoms out there that were born for big families!

    I've had people judge me about having only one child and people ask "when are you having your next? "You're NOT planning on having your next?" "Your child needs a sibling to share their childhood with."

    There is judgement everywhere I turn, and its up to me to let it slide off my shoulders.
    2
      06/06/14
      That's a great article! I've never conciously thought of having four children as being shameful. My dad is one of four and my inlaws are both one of 4. I do agree when she said "There seems to be some unspoken rule that you are only allowed to have two children: one girl and one boy, about 2-5 years apart. If you mess up and fail to meet the gender quota of one of each, you are permitted to go out on a limb and have a third."

      It's funny that people think that, but I really think they do!
      4
        06/06/14
        4Julia Dozier
        I have been in this woman's shoes. I am currently expecting #5. I have heard countless times: wow, that's a lot of kids; you know there is something that prevents that; you must really have your hands full; how do you do it? And I could go on. Between my husband & I we will have a total of 6 children. I am from a large family (I am the youngest of 7) so I see nothing wrong with a large family. I love it. And I know, some people do not mean to say the things they say, but others do. Some folks do not understand. Children are blessing & I love each one of my children. I don't take it personally when someone tells me I have a lot of kids.. I'm just happy they can count! Lol..
        3
        06/06/14
        8Theresa Gould
        Oh me too, I've heard the whole kit and kaboodle of statements and questions!

        Ha ha about people knowing how to count! We have literally watched people count our family when we've all been out and about!
        1
        06/06/14
        4Ronna Jones
        I am the youngest of five! My parents wanted more but she got uterine cancer after I was born and had to have a hysterectomy.
        2
          06/06/14
          Comment deleted
          06/06/14
          8Theresa Gould
          That's a little different when family members are struggling to provide for the ones they have and asking other family members for money. I think family members then have the right to ask them questions, you know?
          0
            06/06/14
            My sister and I have been the butt of the family 'don't you know what birth control is' jokes. We both just laugh it off.
            2
              08/23/14
              Ever Lopez
              great article! I can relate I'm on my 3rd child and I being having kids back to back for the last 3 yrs and I get question on why am I having kids like that i had put my 9 yr old career on hold to be a stay home mom, so I can make sure my kids are well taking care of, so I come out pregnant again with my 3rd child and I didn't tell Noone until I went on my family vacation early July I was 5 month and all B'cause I posted pictures on FB
              ( of course here on the site) but family and friends not all because I didn't want to here no comments about "why did you do it again" but what bother me the most is that most of this ppl that ask surprise have the same amount or more children, like really u judging me? My mother is a mayor support in my life but she will be the 1st to be surprise but she have 4 kids WOW ONE LESS THEN ME! lol
              0
                05/05/15
                7Kimberly Acord
                I can definitely relate. When I was pregnant with my 4th, I got a lot of rude comments, and people who knew were so rude about my 5th pregnancy that I just kept it to myself. When she was born there were a lot of people who were like, "Wow, I didn't even know you were pregnant. Why didn't you tell anyone?" Well, because you were one of the ones who were rude over my 4th pregnancy and I didn't feel like being judged. Now, when myself and all 7 kids go somewhere, we get looks. The only outright semi rude comment I got was at a Doctors office where a lady asked if I was a foster parent. SMH...lol I'll be honest, my husband and I have talked about having my tubal reversed and going for another one...lol.
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                About Theresa Gould
                Current: Chicago, Illinois
                Birth: August 10
                On Moms.com since: Aug 5, 2013
                ***Baby Team Leader Moms.com*** I have been married for over 20 years. My husband and I have eight children ages 18 down to 4 years old. We use to live in Chicago but now live in Canada. I own www.FaithandFamilyReviews.com.