7 Things to NOT say to a New Mom

7 Things to NOT say to a New Mom

The reality of being a new mom is very stressful. There are sleeplessnights, constant worry, no personal time, and so much more. I have had my firstbaby and what I have noticed is that seemed to paste a stamp on your foreheadthat reads, “Please give me all your advice… Then repeat.” -_- I know peoplefeel the need to give advice but a lot of us don’t want it UNLESS we ask. Sincehaving my baby I must say there are certain phrases/statements that I CANNOThandle (especially when REPEATED!). Now there are some exceptions; grandparentsand first time mothers who have a baby the same age as yours. I am getting alittle better with handling these phrases/statements but 8 times out of 10 Iwant to karate chop someone in the throat when they say the following things tome:

1: “When I had mykids…”

Well you see the thing is when you had your kids it was 10years and more ago. I understand that you want to help or be constructive BUTreally leave it alone. If you have already given your advice I promise I havenot forgotten and there is no need to repeat it EVERY time I see or talk toyou. -_-

2: “Just Wait”&“Youwill learn”

These little phrases get under my skin more than anyone canimagine. You have had your kid(s) and it was years ago. They aren’t even athome anymore and this is my turn. I want to do things MY way and whatever the consequencesare I will take them. They could be EXACTLY as you say OR they could becompletely different. My kid is different than yours and I believe differentthings than you. It is time for these phrases to drift out of everyconversation and let me see how this is on my own.

3: “He/She looksnothing like you.”

I want to point out that if YOU don’t see me in the babythen MOST LIKELY neither do I. Therefore, do you really think it is necessaryto comment on it EVERY time you see my baby? You know I worked a long, hard 9months on that precious baby, and maybe it would be nice to actually havesomething in the mix!

4: “I think he/she ishungry.”

Okay, I am THE MOM. I know when my baby is hungry. If my baby is fussing and crying I know morewhen it comes to finding out the reason, so I do not need YOU telling me whento feed and what to do with my baby.

5: “That will allchange when you have the next one..”

This little statement goes along with #2 but actuallyaggravates in a completely different way. I know that when I have my next onethere will be SOME things I don’t do the same BUT this is my first one and Iwant to do things MY way. (i.e.) If I want you to wash your hands beforeholding my child (especially when I know teething has begun and will find a wayto your fingers) then you wash your hands. This will not change with my nextkids. I don’t want nasty fingers in my child’s mouth, my mouth, or any othermouth. THAT IS GROSS.

6: “You are going tospoil that baby by holding him/her all the time!”

That is none of your business. This is my baby and if I wantto hold him/her all the time then I can. If he/she gets spoiled to the MOM thenwhere is the harm? I plan on disciplining him/her and teaching right and wrongso really this is no concern to you.

7: “Don’t you thinkyou need to…”

Hmm. If I thought I needed to then I would? Therefore, if Ihave not done something (i.e. given medicine, started foods, etc…) then thereis a reason and your question has done nothing but irritate me.

Conclusion: This list is only a short one. There are MANY more things that you should not say to a new mom. If you feel the need to say these to the pointthat it is KILLING you… SAY THEM ONCE and be done with it. DO NOT repeat EVERYtime you see my baby OR me. Thank you,

Every irritated new mother


Moms Expertise
    You know, it's funny on the "He/she doesn't look like you. It's almost always the opposite sides of the families who think the baby looks just like THEIR side. My daughter looks a lot like me but if you ask her other grandma she looks just like her dad. I don't see it, but whatever.

    My son is his dad through and through. The only thing he got from me was his blue eyes but other than that, he is all daddy. But if you ask my family, he looks like me. Even though he has red hair and the same face/eye/nose/mouth shape as his dad.
      This is a very accurate list! I hate "just wait," the most, I think.
        Pretty much agree with all of this... though it doesn't bother me at all when people say my kids don't look like me... mainly because... THEY DON'T. They look nothing like me. I would question if they were my children if I hadn't been there when they came out ;)
          i defiantly know the feeling of being told that if I had held my eldest daughter all the time when she was a baby that she was going to be spoiled and all that. What irritated me more was that I let me biological mom back into my life a couple years before I got pregnant with my daughter Flor. With her that meant she could tell me how I was to raise my daughter, what I had to do to make my daughter more comfortable and everything. One day we had called her to see if she could bring me some mint leaves to boil in water to make mint water for my daughter Flor when she was a little over a month old, she had gotten a stomach ache or something, and when she got there not only did she bring me the mint leaves but she brought me a bottle of Pedialite . She even went as far as to tell both my husband and myself that we need to do this and we need to do that with our newborn daughter at the time, and I flat out said "Are you her mother, here why don't you raise her" and she was like "no I don't want to raise her" that's when I told her "Don't tell me how to raise my kid(s)," because I have to keep reminding her that she didn't raise me and that I don't want her opinion.
          About Cheyenne
          Born: De Berry, Texas
          Birth: June 20
          On Moms.com since: Mar 31, 2014
          I am a first time mom and I have to say that it is way different than what I ever imagined.